Some things about it drive me crazy–like the endless series of fresh catastrophees –but for the most part, I love Brothers & Sisters. One of my favorite things about the show is that it knows exactly how to let characters evolve.

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Apparently, the week of “Idol Gives Back” will be all about people upending my expectations. First, it was Kristy Lee Cook strutting the stage like a total star, and tonight, during the 150 minute charity concert, it was Fergie, literally subverting my concept of reality.

(Before I begin, let me say that I have it on good authority–from someone who was there–that the charity show was taped on Sunday night. So all those “phone calls” they were taking from the stage? Fake-o!)

Anyway, Fergie. Now see, I don’t hate the woman. If you look on the at my most-played songs on iTunes, you will see that “Clumsy” ranks at number 7 and that “Don’t Lie” by Black Eyed Peas is number 36. When those hot hits come on, just TRY not to work out! I defy you!

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I’ve got to hand it to the advertising folks at New York Sports Club: They can make a funny poster. This is what’s hanging in the entrance to the Park Slope branch:

Too true! We can’t let an unhealthy government drive us to an unhealthy lifestyle!

What I particularly like about this sign is that I’ve only seen it inside the various NYSC locations. They’re not trying to recruit new members with their wit. They’re saving the funny for folks like me, who have already paid the monthly fee.

And that’s pretty ingenious. If my gym makes me chuckle, I will forgive it for letting towels pile up on the locker-room floor. Or letting the body wash run low in the showers. Or letting the treadmill… well, never mind. Let’s just keep laughing.

Suddenly, Panic at the Disco is a really good band.

I mean, they were alright before, when their name was the punctuation-friendly Panic! At the Disco. I even got their album “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out” for Christmas, gave it a quick listen, nodded appreciatively, and forgot all about it.

At the time, there was no need to get invested. Panic! At The Disco sounded exactly like Fall Out Boy, the band that discovered them: Same intensely theatrical singing; same walls of electric guitar; same lengthy song titles that are just so freaking clever you want poke someone with your guyliner brush. (All I can say is, “Nails For Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks.” And then I start gagging.)

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So I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided to introduce a regular feature called “Critic of the Week.” Every week, I’ll post a link to a pop culture or arts review that is especially interesting or informative. It’ll be a piece that makes me want to respond, and hopefully, you’ll feel that way, too.

I’m doing this because criticism is about expanding the conversation, you know? So let’s get involved! And if you ever have suggestions for a Critic of the Week, please let met know! I’d love to toss it up here and see how we feel about it.

For my inaugural entry, I’m choosing Joan Acocella’s New Yorker review of the ballet Petrushka, directed and conceived by reigning puppet master Basil Twist. I love Acocella’s work because I don’t know anything about dance, but she never makes me feel intimidated. Instead, she makes sophisticated points that teach me about the art form.

Even better, she delivers these lessons in exciting, beautiful prose that powerfully evokes a performance.

I mean, take this sentence: “Throughout the show, big, fat white hands—they look like Parker House dinner rolls—appear as puppets.” Perfect, right? I can picture those puppets and imagine the type of world they’re in.

To me, this is a great piece of criticism because it makes me excited about something I never saw. And Acocella’s writing makes the review an artistic achievement of its own.

You know what I love? A fun rap song. “Just a Friend” by Biz Markie? Absolutely. “Get Ur Freak On” by Missy Elliott? Twice, please. Or three times. And don’t get me started on “Lip Gloss,” because I will never, ever stop.

And you know what I love even more? A fun rap song with a sung chorus. “Let Me Blow Ya Mind?” One of the few times I will seek out Gwen Stefani. “Mo Money, Mo Problems?” Possibly the best thing that happened in 1997.

Some people dismiss this pop-rap as lightweight and lame, but what-ever. Sometimes, it’s nice just to dance and not worry about the political ramifications. I mean, if you groove to “Low,” are you saying it’s a good idea to bend your dance partner so low to the ground that she looks like “a pornography poster?” Or, if you’re a woman, that you want to resemble said poster in front of a roomful of sweaty strangers?

Don’t get me wrong: There are plenty of dirty rap songs that I like. They just don’t put me in a good mood. I can never escape the feeling that I’m belittling myself and my friends every time I bob my head.

But “Boyfriend/Girlfriend,” by C-Side featuring Keyshia Cole, makes me happy in an uncomplicated way. See the video after the jump.

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You guys! Madonna’s new album comes out next week! Hard Candy for all!

For me, this is a very big deal. You’re talking to a man who, when he was six years old, spent his allowance on the 45 single of “Material Girl.” A man who used to stay in from sixth-grade recess so he could practice voguing. A man whose entire friendship with his friend Brandt started after they drove to the midnight release of Ray of Light.

As usual, I am avoiding leaked versions of her new songs. I want to be surprised.

I’m always like that about things I love. For instance, I refuse to read any article in Entertainment Weekly that has spoilers about Heroes or Lost. That means I skip about 45% of every issue, but still… I crave the unexpected!

So at the moment, I am awaiting Hard Candy on tenterhooks. AAAAH! The exquisite torture!

I’d give Smart People a B-, and that’s why, in its own way, it’s perfect.

Because Smart People is the Platonic ideal of a genre I’m going to call “bric-a-brac,” or “BRIttle CAucasians BRooding And Collapsing.” (I know, right? Great acronym!)

This movie is not fantastic, which means it doesn’t transcend or subvert its genre, but it’s good enough to you appreciate why this type of film gets made. Sitting in the middle of a bell curve, it’s an excellent starting point for understanding the dozens and dozens of other movies that are like it.

So using Smart People, which I just saw this afternoon, I’ve created a handy user’s guide to bric-a-brac films. Feel free to tape it on your fridge!

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With announcements like the one on this cryptic website, NBC has confirmed that The Office is going to have a spin-off next season.

But isn’t the show already it’s own spin-off? Aren’t there two versions of the show happening in every episode?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Impossible! The time-space continuum won’t support two shows in one! It barely supports whatever-the-hell genre The Hills is supposed to be!”

But hear me out…

On the one hand, you’ve got The Office: You know, the show that deals with the peccadilloes of white-collar life.

But on the other, you’ve got The Office: Relationship City. That’s the show about the love affairs of increasingly quirky people.

These shows started out the same, but this season, they’re heading toward an inevitable split. The reason for that split? Believability.

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Hello there. This is a secret post on “The Critical Condition.” Why secret? Because it doesn’t have a title, and it isn’t filed under any particular category. And yet… here it is.

If you’ve found this post, you are either very clever or very thorough. Either way, you deserve props. And a reward!

So here’s the deal: Send me an e-mail titled “Secret revealed, kiddo!” and I will know you have found this post. Then, in the body of your e-mail, you may claim your reward: Give me any phrase of five words or less, and I will work it into the body of a future post on “The Critical Condition.”

Then, when you come across your phrase, you will know that you’re making this crazy thing called the internet really happen. Sweet!

Two disclaimers:

1. Do not send me phrases that include obscenities, derogatory language, or anything else a reasonable person would find offensive. If you do, your phrase gets the boot.
2. Don’t spoil the fun by blatantly posting about this secret page in the comments section of “The Critical Condition.” That would be lame! (But if you want to post about it elsewhere, that is your right.)