Okay, look: I know I’m a New Yorker now. I have to accept public behavior that would have freaked me out in Georgia or Tennessee.

And thanks to that, I don’t feel bad about blowing my nose on the subway… No matter how loud I honk, I’ll never be more disgusting than that guy who threw up on his saxophone case.

But even though I walk past public urination every day, I have still have limits. This ad is one of them:

Can you read what’s behind the subway pole? It’s an ad for Cottonelle toilet paper, and it features an adorable little puppy quizzically looking at you. And what’s the puppy asking? Why, he’s asking, “Too much bran?”

Think about that: You’re sitting on the subway, and there’s a puppy wondering if the muffin you ate this morning has come with consequences. Because really, the question implies you’ve had too much bran to make it to a bathroom. You’ve just had so much bran today that you might poop your pants on the A train.

And in case you do need to defecate while using public transportation, the puppy would like to suggest Cottonelle toilet tissue. Didn’t pack any? Oh, well! You’ll know for next time!

You see where I’m going here? I don’t want to think about my lack of bathroom supplies while I’m shoved between a woman eating Thai food and two kids begging their dad to take off his headphones.

I might be a New Yorker, but I’m too much of a Southerner for that.