Take a look at that photo: It sums up a reaction I have almost every day.

But first, context…

That’s my awesome friend Kerri, pretending to vomit in front of a store called Bump, which is located here in Park Slope, Brooklyn (where we live.)

Why is Kerri awesome? Well, there are too many reasons to discuss that here, though I can tell you that at least one of them involves break dancing.

And why is the store called Bump? Because it sells maternity clothes. Which means “bump” refers to “baby bump.”

I know. That’s why Kerri is gagging.

Because, really? I hate the term baby bump. In fact, it’s one of my Top Three Least Favorite Phrases That Are Currently Dominating The World

(1) “Baby Bump” — n — A phrase referring to the obvious stomach bulge created by a woman’s pregnancy

If you even glance at a copy of US Weekly or In Touch Weekly or Star, you are guaranteed to see this phrase splashed in 14-point font across the cover. Angelina has a baby bump! Christina has a baby bump! Your mom has a baby bump!

The expression is odious because it makes pregnancy sound like a hip accessory. As in…

Cool Gal #1: Um… Madison? Did you see my Kangol hat anywhere?

Cool Gal #2: OMG, Kylie! This isn’t 2004! Drop the hat and start rocking the baby bump, bitch!

There’s this episode of 30 Rock where Cerie tells Liz Lemon that she wants to have a baby in her early twenties, “while it’s still cool.” As always, the show totally gets the problem: Babies are not like fanny packs or Crocs or whatever. Even when you are ready to replace them with this year’s amazing new Chanel sunglasses and Abercrombie sweater… you can’t. And neither can a celebrity. But talking incessantly about a celebrity’s damn “baby bump” only fuels the idea that an infant is like a purse that poops.

(2) “Meet Cute” — n — A phrase used by shortcutting journalists, bloggers, and everyone else to refer to the unusual (and often forced) situations in which a fictional romantic couple gets introduced.

Roger Ebert used this phrase as far back as 1999, and in the New York Times, it was used as the headline of a 1992 movie review. Wikipedia would have you believe it’s a historical term that can be applied to classic films like It Happened One Night.

And hey… maybe that’s true. Maybe Pauline Kael used that expression in a review that I just haven’t read. But in the last few years, it has been turning up everywhere. and I cannot stand hearing it.

For one thing, it’s difficult to say. The hard “t” in “meet” followed by the hard “c” in “cute” forces you to pause awkwardly between the words, waiting for your mouth to get into a completely different position.

And for another thing, the phrase is implicitly snotty. It suggests that the movie being labeled is silly, and that the labeler has already judged it, boxed it up, and reduced it to a snappy catchphrase.

That’s just unfair. It replaces serious thought with a cheap signpost.

And I know that arts pages are shrinking across the country, so for many writers this term might be useful… but it’s still doing everyone a disservice. (Note: In the link up there, Ebert doesn’t drop the phrase until he has almost completed his review. Because it appears late in the piece, the phrase supports his argument instead of lazily making it for him.)

(3) “Throw Under the Bus” — n — A phrase, often used on reality television, that means “to scapegoat”

Variations of this gem include: “Don’t throw me under the bus!” “I will throw you under the bus!” “I have just thrown myself under a bus!”

When I first heard this expression–on that salty, “I don’t give a black bone” episode of Top Chef--I laughed. Chef Mia was acting like “throw me under the bus” is this totally familiar expression that everybody uses.

But… really? I have never heard someone say it in regular life. Yet people say it on reality television all the time. Like it’s demanded in the bylaws of every series, right after the clause about finding a reason to take off your shirt. And sometimes the phrase creeps into political discourse.

As with “meet cute,” maybe people have always said this, and I’m just a curmudgeonly hermit. But still… the rapidity with which the news and reality communities have accepted this silly, melodramatic expression amazes me.

Of course, back in the day, I’m sure people thought “back in the day” was a dumb thing to say.

So what do you think? Should I just embrace the new idiom of our time? Or should we all fight a war against these expressions and hope for the return of “hella good?”