Dear Katy Perry,

I don’t know you, but I’ve got your public persona figured out. Or if my perception of you is wrong, then you might want to tweak it, because the message you’re sending over the airwaves and through the internet is unmistakable. It says, “I don’t like myself, so I crave attention.”

Is that what you want? It seems like it. Take this interview you gave to Blender in 2004: At nineteen, you brag about your boobs, and you painstakingly define yourself as a rebellious pastor’s daughter. “I’ve done a lot of bad things,” you say, “Use your imagination.”

And maybe you have done bad things, Katy Perry, but you know who isn’t truly wild? The kid who has to remind us she’s out of control.

When you loudly laugh about your “crazy” religious family and then brag that you’ve rejected your dad, you tell the world that you need approval. Randomly, that’s just like this pastor’s daughter I grew up next to. She would literally hang out her second-story window to talk to boys. She was obviously being “scandalous” for their benefit, not her own.

And speaking of doing things for male attention, can we discuss your current hit single, “I Kissed a Girl?” I’ll admit that the beat is addictive, but the song makes you seem like a drunk freshman who wants to make out with whatever senior guy will have you. It’s not because you want to make out with him, but because you think his sloppy tongue will validate you.

You might be thinking, “The song is about me kissing a girl, not a frat boy. You’re a jerk.” But let’s dig deeper. The lyrics are about you getting drunk and snogging some dame, but in the chorus you say, “I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.” I imagine you staring at your boyfriend while you kiss this mysterious lady, praying that he’ll notice you “cheating” on him. Then he’ll have to come over and yell at you, or maybe ask if he can watch you touch her boobs. Either way, that’s almost as good as flowers, right?

Plus, you make a point saying you don’t care about the girl you’re kissing. “You’re my experimental game,” you tell her. So either she’s also trying to get a frat boy’s attention, or she’s an actual lesbian whose feelings you’re toying with. Either way, not cool, Katy. I’m reminded of your 2007 single “Ur So Gay,” in which you berate your boyfriend for not being masculine enough. “You’re so gay, and you don’t even like boys,” you croon. Why would you hate on sensitive men like that, Katy? Or imply that there’s something wrong with being gay in 2007, only to start kissing girls in 2008? Could it be that you don’t really have a point of view… that you just say whatever you think will get you noticed?

I mean, how can we believe either of those sentiments when, as pointed out by the folks at Towleroad, you released a Christian record a few years ago? Back then, did Christianity seem like the path to popularity?

Here’s another sign you’re just doing this for attention: Tons of the lyrics in “I Kissed a Girl” reference how naughty you are. “It felt so wrong, it felt so right,” you say. “It’s not what good girls do.” Again: Why take out an ad that tells us you’re a rebel? Why not just be one? It worked for Chrissie Hynde, and she never named an album “One of the Boys,” just so we’d know she was a tough chick and not a girly girl.

Also? You’re not really liberating yourself with the video for “I Kissed a Girl,” which features scantily clad ladies grinding on each other. Tell yourself what you need to, but this video is not about empowering women. It’s about enacting male sexual fantasies. Take a look and see if you agree:

See how you’re an object? No? Maybe look again.

And I know that by writing you this letter, I’m just giving you the negative attention you crave. But I’m writing because I feel bad for you. Again, I don’t know you at all, and you may be awesome… but the image that you are helping to craft for yourself is doing you no favors. It’s obvious you’re talented: You write your own songs, and you have nice voice. So could you maybe just rely your talent instead of nakedly courting controversy? If you did, I bet you could make some damn fine pop music. Try hanging out with Pink. Her influence would be good for you.

Sincerely,

Mark

p.s — I edited bits of this letter after getting a comment from someone who identified herself as “Katy Perry.” Now, this may not have been her, but the thought of KP actually reading this made me realize I should clarify that I was analyzing her public persona and not her as a person. There’s a difference between the two, I’m sure,  though I think the distinction is too often lost in the blog-o-sphere.