Not sure what Crank That Hit! means? Go here.

For me, the most important time to feel like an ass-kicking fiend is when I’m at the gym. I’ve been doing this crazy cardio program where I run at a moderate pace for three minutes, then blaze it for sixty seconds of all-out, sound-barrier-breaking insanity.

During those minutes, I can’t be listening to Sarah McLachlan, ya dig?

But there are some songs that always do me right, and I think they’ll do the same for you. When you need to feel like a bad ass (whether you’re at the gym or not), let me encourage you to Crank That Hit!

(bad-assery located after the jump)

(1) The Black Keys, “Strange Times”

Note: This is currently the first song in my gym playlist. Awesome!

The Black Keys are a fantastic blues-rock duo that have been releasing ass-kicking albums for about six years. “Strange Times” is the lead single from their most recent album, Attack and Release, which dropped just a few months ago. It was produced by Danger Mouse (of Gnarls Barkley fame), and it’s a pulsing, hard-driving track. There’s this crunchy guitar riff and crazy cymbal crashing, which sometimes gives way to a keyboard breakdown. Since it keeps flipping between these two modes, the song sounds spontaneous and exciting.

Here’s the freaky-cool video:

(2) DMX, “Party Up (Up in Here)“

“Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind
Up in here! Up in here!”

For anyone near a dance floor, a radio, or a gym in 2000, DMX’s slamming ode to… um… partying up in here was the definition of the bomb. It’s got the kind of chorus you can shout along with at top volume even if you can’t sing, and the beat has got that aggressive, pounding rhythm that makes you feel tough after just one listen.

An obvious antecedent is LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out,” and Ludacris treads similar ground with “Stand Up.” But while I embrace the braggadocio on those tracks, DMX’s song has a stripped-raw quality that makes it the bad-assiest.

(3) The Music, “Breakin’“

I know what you’re thinking. “The music? We know what the band makes, Blankenship! Now tell us what they’re called!” But The Music is the actual name of this sadly underappreciated British rock outfit that I first discovered thanks to the free weekly download on iTunes.

I encourage everyone to go sample their album Welcome to the North, particularly if you like the slightly manic, debt-to-Duran-Duran sound of The Kaiser Chiefs or Franz Ferdinand. Start with “Breakin’,”which has this amazing chorus filled with nothing but the word “oh” repeated about twenty times.

Again, the key to feeling bad-ass (for me) is being able to bob my head to something simple, loud, and catchy. Thanks, The Music!

(4) Pink, “Leave Me Alone (I’m Lonely)“

If we’re going to make The Critical Condition a place of honesty, you have to know that I love Pink. Unreservedly. Her voice is rough and emotional, just like the subjects of her songs. She has sounded different on every one of her four albums, yet she’s always kept her rebellious personality and proclivity for great pop hooks.

No one was happier than me that she scored a comeback with the songs “U + UR Hand” and “Who Knew,” but I think the best song on her most recent album is “Leave Me Alone (I’m Lonely),” a propulsive punk-dance number in which she says to her lover, “Go away, give me a chance to miss you.”

In other words, Pink wants her space. But she admits that she’ll probably be changing her mind later tonight and begging him to come over.

By embracing her own messed-up contradictions, Pink becomes more relatable and human. Plus, she sprinkles in curse words with a frequency that I enjoy. It’s always fun to mouth an f-bomb when I’m hitting a sprint.

(5) MC Lyte, “Cold Rock a Party”

I swear I could listen to this song thirty times a day. Along with “Mo Money, Mo Problems,” it’s Puff Daddy’s best reuse of an old R&B hook. In this case, he’s sampling Diana Ross’ “Upside Down” while MC Lyte raps about–you guessed it–how awesome she is. Boasting is what bad asses do!

MC Lyte has a confident flow here, and she manages to lay down rhymes like “Trust you me, I blow up shop / About to blow the roof right off of hip-hop.” (It sounds really convincing with that Diana Ross loop underneath.)

The bubbly beat (not to mention guest verse from Missy Elliott) make this a great gym warm-up. When I hear it, I just need to strut. You know, cocking an eyebrow and thinking, “Yeah. I do rock the party that rocks the body.”

Also? This video rules. There are so many people in that elevator!:

Your turn! — Which songs make you feel like a bad ass?