Here’s a little (paraphrased) wisdom from Nina Garcia, per last night’s episode of Project Runway: 

“Short, tight, and shiny is the fastest way to look cheap.” 

So true! Maybe that should be the tagline for The Critical Condition.

And did you hear about this season’s gay romance?

Anyway… If you haven’t seen last night’s episode, don’t go past the jump…

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My current musical favorites are coming from very different places. On one extreme, there’s Sugarland’s new album Love on the Inside, and on the other, there’s the song “Dangerous” by Kardinal Offishall featuring Akon. It’s the kind of sonic whiplash I love.

(Taste both… after the jump)

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When I woke up on Sunday, I didn’t realize this was going to be John Hughes week, yet here we are. First, there’s J.C. Penney trying to get all Breakfast Club, and now there’s Pretty in Pink. 

I hadn’t seen this fine slice of cinema in at least a decade, but when I noticed it was on HBO On Demand, I had to take advantage. And you know what? I always think this is the movie where Molly Ringwald’s grandma feels her up, but that’s totally Sixteen Candles.

You know what else? This movie is amazing. 

(Get Pretty… after the jump)

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So Andrew is out of town right now, and I’ve been going over to his apartment to check his mail, make sure his stove isn’t on fire… that sort of thing. I spent last night at his place, and before I went to bed, I watched a DVR’d episode of The Mole.

Yes. The Mole. I admit it.

Anyway, this J.C. Penney commercial got my attention because it featured a remake of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, which is one of my all-time favorite songs. When I looked up from my stretching–which is what I do during The Mole–I noticed that the commercial’s well-scrubbed teenage models were reenacting scenes from The Breakfast Club (which is of course the film that featured the Simple Minds song.)

And I have to say, I chuckled. The parody was spot-on.

So I got curious, and I learned that the ad is part of J.C. Penney’s new back-to-school campaign “Get That Look.” It’s all centered around The J.C. Penney Club (wah-wah!), and it has gotten quite a bit of attention.

But as I looked for an online clip of the ad, I slipped down the J.C. Penney rabbit hole.

(fall down with me… after the jump)

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Not sure what Crank That Hit! means? Go here.

Have you ever worked your ass off for something and then finally, finally gotten it?

Maybe it’s that cute s.o. you’ve been looking for, wading through years of bad dates in the process. Maybe it’s that awesome new job, which you landed after two years of sending out resumes. Or hell… maybe it’s that Saturday New York Times crossword puzzle you carried around for eight days, filling up the whole side of the newspaper with ink swirls of impatience, until finally, over late-night grilled cheese, you yelled out, “Yes! 14-down is ‘buttercreme!’”

The point is… some achievements taste especially sweet because they require so much effort. When you need an anthem for your incredible victory, I say, “Crank that hit!”

(three cheers for you… after the jump)

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 A writer for Advertising Age has dubbed the Snickers ad homophobic, and he points out that the agency responsible has a history of creating this kind of incendiary work. 

This adds an interesting dimension to the discussion we had last week. 

Warning: Spoilers ahead!!

Well, I did it. I saw Mamma Mia! and The Dark Knight in one evening. There was a lot of popcorn involved. 

There was also a fair amount of pleasure. I can’t hate on either movie, because they both have moments I loved.

In Mamma Mia!, the “Dancing Queen” sequence lifted me right off the ground. The film takes place on a Greek island, and during this number, the island women all find “Dancing Queen” irresistible. They drop whatever they’re doing–carrying firewood, cooking, doing the wash–to chase Meryl Streep and her friends as they dance toward the ocean. Eventually, there are at least fifty women waving their arms and singing for the sky.

That’s a perfect illustration of what pop songs do: They make you so happy that you leave reality for a minute. When you’re screaming out the chorus to “Dancing Queen,” you may as well be on a magical island, and it’s thrilling to see Mamma Mia! capture that effect.

As for The Dark Knight… I agree with all the people who are praising Heath Ledger’s performance. It’s ridiculously unnerving. 

But here’s the thing: While these movies brought me two different kinds of pleasure, their failings are essentially the same.

I’ll explain what I mean after the jump. (Again… there are major spoilers ahead.) 

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Not sure what Trailer Scaler means? Go here.

This week, Trailer Scaler turns its gaze on Hamlet 2. I first saw this trailer months ago, but I wanted to write about it because I watch it all the time. (Um… that may give away how I feel about it.)

Let’s get scalin’… after the jump!

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Tonight, I could blow the mind of a market researcher.

At 7:15, I am going to see Mamma Mia!, and at 11:00, I’m heading to The Dark Knight.

I know, right? Mamma Mia! is supposed to be counterprogramming to Batman and Co., but I am equally excited to see both of them. I mean, I can’t even remember the last time there were two movies opening at once that I felt I needed to see on opening night.

If I don’t go mental from the sudden shift in tone, I’ll check in on Monday and tell you how it all went.

And here’s a question for you — Are you seeing a movie this weekend? If so, which one? Why? 

 

Over on The Big Picture, his blog for the L.A. Times, Patrick Goldstein is discussing the current vogue in actors wanting to produce. As he points out, this trend has dubiously swept up Brendan Fraser, who served as a producer on Journey to the Center of the Earth. 

Since Big B was the subject of this week’s Trailer Scaler–and provoked some heated responses–I couldn’t resist passing this along. I’d recommend reading Patrick’s post, then checking out the rest of his blog. He’s got a really interesting take on the film industry.