Would you guys like a peek inside my head? Here’s my current inner monologue:

Wow, I really want to write about Mike Leigh’s new movie Happy-Go-Lucky, because it was really, really good. But I had oral surgery on Wednesday, which means I haven’t been able to eat solids for a while… which is making me feel kind of light-headed. So my desire to write a thoughtful piece of criticism is being overwhelmed by the fact that I’m kind of light-headed right now. Did I just repeat the word “light-headed?”

What if I did have light for a head? Like, my head was made of light.

Remember when “light in your loafers” was a euphemism for “homosexual”? Crazy!

So, yeah… that’s where we are right now, and later this afternoon, I have to interview a Pulitzer Prize winner. What’s going to happen?!?

I’m back on solids tonight, though, so next week, I’ll write about Happy-Go-Lucky. For now, let’s talk about Beyonce’s new singles! Hooray!

(After the jump, that is…)

And why should we talk about Beyonce’s new songs? Because a new Beyonce single has the potential to spark a new era of human thought. Remember how before “Irreplaceable,” we thought the world was flat and that we kept our stuff in a box to the right, to the right?

Anyway… for those who don’t know, Beyonce is currently working two new tracks. She’s crazy like that.

(1) “If I Were a Boy”:

Great vocal on this song, right? She’s rocking the growl that she used in “Listen” (from Dreamgirls.) And while my early impression is that song is too long, it’s still pretty. It’s nice to hear an R&B jam with a robust musical track. The guitar and the drum loop and the backing vocals create grandeur.

Plus, the production is fantastic. Even on my computer speakers, I feel like I’m listening to a concert hall performance.

Lyrically, though, the song is awfully beholden to gender norms. I mean, I understand that men often behave differently than women, but according to the criteria in in “If I Were Boy,” Beyonce seems free to act like a man at any time. What’s stopping her from going out drinking or putting herself first?

The video echoes that powerlessness. Why is it only a fantasy that Beyonce could be aggressive or that her boyfriend could be sensitive?

For a more nuanced take on gender roles, you should check on “When I Was a Boy” by Dar Williams. She acknowledges that gender-based stereotypes exist and are frustrating, but she explores how arbitrary they are. Beyonce makes it seem like the gender code is written in stone.

Still, there is truth in her song. No matter our sex or gender, the roles we play in relationships can seem permanent. That certainly merits a song.

(2) “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It):”

I just heard this song (and saw this video) for the first time. Right this second. And… damn.

Damn!

But first: Another song about gender norms, y’all! She’s dissing her ex-boyfriend by saying he should have married her. And since he didn’t, she’s up on another guy.

I understand that, of course. I want commitment, too. But it’s interesting that beneath her sexy moves and sassy attitue, Beyonce espouses some really coservative attitudes about love and relationships.

But let me reiterate:

Damn!

Is this beat legal? Will I ever stop dancing? The first time I heard this, I literally came  out of my chair. Ask Roommate Joe. He saw it. It’s like the handclaps grabbed me by the collar and forced me to shake it.

And how freaking sweet is this video? I love that there are no jump cuts. Long takes mean we can enjoy the dancing, which is inspired by Bob Fosse’s “Mexican Breakfast” routine.

Whoa…I have to stop writing. My brain is melting. Between the lack of food and this song’s cosmic awesomeness, I have lost the capacity for language. I either need to eat or start dancing. I’ll let you know what I decide.