Could it be that Cecile Frot-Courtaz read my post on why American Idol Rewind sucks? Because apparently, the new season of the mothership will address a lot of my concerns.

According to Billboard, the addition of a fourth judge isn’t the only change a-comin’ this year. To wit:

• Audition episodes will be reduced to make room for more “Hollywood Week” episodes, thus increasing the focus on people who can actually sing
• The wildcard round will return, letting all four judges push an overlooked singer through to the finals. While this tactic did force Carmen Rasmussen on the world, it also let us meet Jennifer Hudson.

Throw in the fact that new judge Kara DioGaurdi is a relevant songwriter and producer, and I feel cautiously optimistic. Despite produce Ken Warwick’s nerve-jangling threat promise to include more “backstage drama” this season, most of the changes seem designed to focus on talented performers instead of bulshitty attention whores dressed in bacon suits

It has always amazed me that the number one show in the country often seems so ignorant to its own appeal, crassly cutting down the “good singing” to make room for more “Ford commercials” and “Brooke White tears” and “hostile homo banter between Simon and Ryan.”

If there’s even a slight change for the better this year, I’ll be satisfied. I mean, I’m going to watch either way, so even a marginal step up will feel like a treat.

 

Hey y’all! Here’s my review of Shrek the Musical, which marks my first appearance in New Jersey’s number-one daily newspaper, The Star-Ledger. 

This is only my second Broadway review for a major print publication, so I’m pretty stoked.

Skoal!

Please welcome the one and only Doug Strassler, a theater and film critic here in New York. Tell us about those crazy Golden Globes, Doug!

The 2008 year-end movie award season kicked into high gear with this morning’s announcement of the Golden Globe nominees. A lot of the faces looked pretty familiar, and though some nominees hurt the heart (read down for more on Brangelina), I’d prefer to focus on some of the more exciting entries in this year’s contest.

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The Movie: Duplicity (opening March 20)

The Buzz: Um… is there any? When I saw the trailer before Frost/Nixon, I didn’t even know Duplicity existed. However, it features Julia Roberts and Clive Owen and was written and directed by the guy who made Michael Clayton. It’ll generate plenty of buzz in the weeks to come.

The Trailer:

The Review:

How ironic that I saw this before Frost/Nixon, which despite being a very good film is nothing close to sexy. Duplicity, on the other hand, looks sexy as hell. The preview sells it as a Soderbergh cocktail, stirring Out of Sight and Oceans Eleven into a fizzy new brew. If nothing else, that slow-mo shot of Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti fighting on a tarmac is Soderbergh all the way—broad and jokey, yes, but also stylish and expensive-looking.

This isn’t a Soderbergh movie, of course, it’s a Tony GIlroy movie, and Michael Clayton proved he can handle corporate paranoia. It’ll be interesting to see him play the same world for laughs.

But all that comes second to Clive and Julia’s chemistry. It looks like they’re scorching the wallpaper, which is exactly what it takes to make a movie like this work. (Where was this heat in Closer?)

I just hope the trailer doesn’t show us all the shots of Shirtless Clive. With any luck, he’ll do a twenty-minute undercover mission in a steam room.

The Rating: Five Hunka-Hunks of Burning Clive

Big ups to Roommate Joe for taking me to see an advanced screening of Revolutionary Road! It was a great birthday present, and now I get to weigh in early on this inevitable Oscar nominee. (It doesn’t open until December 26.)

I guess I’m fine with the awards attention. Since it’s directed by Sam Mendes and stars Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Kathy Bates (who’s also part of the Titanic reunion, I might add), the movie is predictably impressive.

In fact, Winslet even surpassed my lofty expectations for her performance as April Wheeler, a rebellious, 1950s Connecticut housewife who’s being choked by domesticity. One of the best moments of Winslet’s career comes when April decides to fake suburban bliss after an evening spent fighting with her husbasnd Frank (DiCaprio.)  Her speaking voice changes, dropping to a low rasp as she asks Frank how he wants his eggs, and there’s robotic elegance in the way she reaches for a napkin, like she’s performing the cover of Good Housekeeping.

But you can see what’s roiling beneath her skin. You can feel her suppressing everything she is–an artist, a free thinker–just from the squint of her eyes.  Her act is even more powerful because April is a failed actress. Here she is in her kitchen giving the performance of her life, and not even her self-deluded husband is noticing.

DiCaprio holds his own, particularly in an earlier fight where he gets so wounded by April’s coldness that he starts screaming and crying and smashing things. He seems so broken that I wanted to hive him a hug.

However, even as I describe what I love about those performances, I’m reminded why the move frustrates me. Ultimately, it’s clanging the same angry bell as a thousand other “suburban exposés.”

I’ll dig through the plot after the jump. (MILD SPOILERS)

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A few seconds ago, I was flipping past The Young and the Restless (just flipping, I swear!), and I saw something that forced me to pause.

There on the screen… was Michael Gross. Michael Gross! When did Steven Keaton join a soap opera?

And he’s not the only 80s staple who’s soaping it up. Betty White has a recurring role on The Bold and the Beautiful.

This is the opposite of how it’s supposed to go. Daytime soaps are the launching pad for future stars, not the crash site for actors whose biggest projects are behind them.

So what’s going on? Is this an increasing trend, or did these actors just want to work, God bless ‘em? Is their presence on these shows a ratings gambit, or were they the best folks for the jobs?

Soap operas are a strange and forbidding world to me, so I appreciate any insight you can give.

I’m pleased to announce the latest installment of my “pop music advice column,” Sounds Like a Plan.

This week, I channel Kanye West, the Great American Songbook, and others to give advice on life, love, and threeways.

Getting irritated by a snobby Lexus commercial is like voting for Dennis Kucinich: You can do it, but it won’t change anything. However, this ad from the company’s 2008 “December to Remember” campaign is so eye-gougingly annoying that I must say something:

Plenty of people have groused that it’s tacky for Lexus to pimp its cars as Christmas gifts during an economic crisis, but that doesn’t bother me. Even in these trying times, Toyota has to sell its luxury model, so they may as well target people who can still afford a car. For those consumers, opulent ads could even be comforting. If they can buy a fancy Lexus this year, then they’ve avoided the recession. They’re safe! 

But here’s the thing: If you’re lucky enough to be that wealthy, you shouldn’t be a dick about it. Yet that’s exactly what this ad encourages. The little girl loves her pony because it makes Annmarie jealous, and it’s implied her grown-up self should love her new car for the same reason. You half expect Annamarie to ride by on the city bus, dabbing her eyes with a pink slip as she watches her neighbor hop around the Lexus yelling “nanny-nanny-boo-boo.” 

That’s a step too far. Advertise the Lexus all you want, Toyota, but don’t encourage your customers to be douchebags. People resent them enough as it is.

Here’s the last installment of my conversation with Roommate Joe about the ultimate SISSY of 2008. And in case you missed them, here’s Part One and Part Two.

MARKS SAYS:

Well, I’m sure Brandon Flowers can handle the SISSY title, but after working out to The Killers’ “Human” yesterday, I just don’t think we can give that song the crown. It’s too autumnal… too lush and lovely to be a summer anthem.

But I think we’ve been dancing around the truth anyway. Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” has the season right there in its title, and it was the biggest cross-format hit on radio this year. Country stations, rock stations, and pop stations were all on board. I don’t love that song, but millions of people do. Could that be our SISSY?
Hm… I’m gonna say no. Curse my passion if you must, but I just can’t award a track I don’t love. So I’m throwing my weight behind “Live Your Life.” T.I. will just have to buck up and accept it: For me, he’s the biggest SISSY of the year.

JOE SAYS:
You sort of dangled Kid Rock out there in front of me and then snatched him away, didn’t you? Kind of like a matador with a big red cape. Because for me, no cape is redder than that of Kid Rock. HATE. Hate the surly attitude, hate the shitkicker/hood-rat poses, hate the faux sentimentality of “Picture,” hate “Picture” in its entirety, hate Hepatitis C, hate all of it. And I really hate the “Sweet Home Alabama” riffing in “All Summer Long.” I have no doubt that was really the song that shaped his teen years, but that just makes me hate him more. Does your conscience bother YOU, Kid Rock, as you’re trading on hip-hop culture while waving the flag of a stars-n-bars band like Skynyrd?

Anyway … I think what I’m saying is: we agree “All Summer Long” is out of the running.

And I respect and applaud your ultimate choice of “Live Your Life” as the top SISSY. It’s up there for me. In the end, though, I think I have to go with the pop culture penetration of Beyonce on this one. “Single Ladies” woulda been audible from every street corner, front porch, and patio bar in North America had it been given a proper summer run. It is, ultimately, SISSY Fierce.

And that’s that for us. What would YOU dub SISSY 2008?

Before we begin: Yes, the title of this post is a coy reference to an album by Tracy Bonham. Remember “Mother, Mother?” Yeah. I figured it was just me.

Anyway… To extend my earlier post about this site’s purpose, I wanna discuss my perspective on “being right.”

Simply put, “being right” isn’t my job. As a critic, I’m trying to start conversations about our culture, and if I take the position that I must have the final word, then I’m killing other ideas before they’ve even been expressed. That shortchanges everyone who reads my work, and it shortchanges me, because I can’t learn anything new if I decide in advance that my opinion is infallible.

However, I do believe my opinion is valid, and I do believe it’s strong. If I didn’t, why would i do this?

So even though I’m not trying to be right, I am striving to be articulate, insightful, and readable. My job is to get the ball rolling… to use my natural talent for analysis as a launching pad for discussions that will hopefully become more sophisticated than I can imagine.

To me, that’s why criticism is so fulfilling. I’m not here to pass final judgment. I’m here to toss my well-reasoned position against the well-reasoned positions of others. Blended together, our arguments could create new ideas that will legitimately affect our lives.

That’s much more satisfying than insisting everyone should like Ugly Betty.

So at The Critical Condition, let none of us be right, so none of us can be wrong.

Does that mean we should agree on everything? No. That would be blander than a Happy Days reunion. But if we disagree with someone about pop culture, it doesn’t mean we’re right and they’re wrong, you know? We’re just marching to our drummers, etc.

And now, back to the show!!