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Disasterpiece: “Angels on the Moon” by Thriving Ivory

January 26th, 2009 · 21 Comments

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a pop single so heinous that it can be dubbed a disasterpiece, but that day came this weekend. Picture it: Sunday. A cold afternoon. I’m making my bed with the radio on, debating between lunch or a Simpsons episode, when suddenly I hear…

… “Angels on the Moon,” the first single from Thriving Ivory. 

Why is this song a disasterpiece? Read on!

First, let me say how sad it is when an artist debuts with a disasterpiece. OMC may have been geniuses, but after “How Bizarre,” why should we stick around to find out? 

And so it goes with Thriving Ivory, a California rock band whose first hit sounds like this…

This song has many disasterpiece ingredients. They include: 

(1) Clayton Stroope’s voice — Could it be more affected? His singing is so pinched and warbly that he sounds like a Katherine Hepburn drag queen. But from the way her over-articulates every damn word, it’s clear he’s not joking. He believes he has something to say.

(2) The pretentious lyrics –  Apparently, the song mourns the death of friends and loved ones. Fair enough. But how am I supposed to grieve when I hear this?

Don’t wake me ’cause I’m dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves to soon

Um… what? Other than in Clayton Stroope’s super-private eighth-grade poetry journal, where are angels rumored to live on the moon? Wanting to sound deep isn’t enough of a reason to invent a new playbook for spiritual beings.

But okay, let’s say the angels of our departed friends do live on the moon. Even then, the lyric doesn’t make sense. Because how does living on the moon keep someone from being “gone too soon?” The moon is really far away. If I’m on the moon and you’re in California, Clayton, then we’re pretty much broken up.

And look: I know pop lyrics don’t have to make sense to be acceptable, but when they’re delivered like they’re rilly rilly important, they should have some kind of logic. Also, they should avoid this kind of imagery:

I wanna feel
All the chemicals inside
I wanna feel, I wanna sunburn
just to know that I’m alive

A sunburn? So to overcome his deadened life, our protagonist jolts himself awake by beaching with no Coppertone?

C’mon now. It’s like he’s a Bible School nerd trying to impress the goth kids. “You guys are secret cutters? I get that. Last week, after my sister used my bike without asking, I was so mad that I didn’t put zinc on my nose before I went outside.”

(3) The cookie-cutter music — Hello? Thriving Ivory? This is The Fray. We’re here with Snow Patrol and Semisonic, and we’d like our power-pop riffs back. Thanks.

(4) That little something extra — All of the above would just make a bad song, but “Angels on the Moon” is a disasterpiece because it has an extra dash of self-righteousness. Check this lyric…

This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, this is to all of us

So this song is supposed to heal the wounds of 9/11? Thanks but no thanks, Thriving Ivory. I think the nation’s got this one. We don’t need your help. 

Tags: Music

21 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mollie // Jan 26, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Got through the first 5 words and had to shut it off, thanks for the warning.

  • 2 Dani // Jan 26, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I saw them in concert (by accident!) and they were awful. A lot of people left and came back when their set was over.

  • 3 gee_gee // Jan 26, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Feh. Doesn’t help that this guy looks like the impossible love child of Jeremy Piven and James Blount.

  • 4 TRAYB // Jan 26, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    What’s funny is I keep misreading the name as “Thriving Irony.”
    Which sorta fits (not really).

  • 5 Brooke // Jan 27, 2009 at 4:35 am

    Hey, How Bizarre is New Zealand’s one claim to worldwide musical fame! When you insult one of us, you insult the other five of us.

    Seriously, though. That song is awful. The video gives me chills just thinking about it.

  • 6 Deanna // Jan 27, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Norman! The loons have come back to Golden Pond!

    (I really shouldn’t blaspheme Katherine Hepburn like that.)

  • 7 Rebecca // Feb 13, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Wow…I love this song and have just purchased tickets to see the band. I actually feel a bit sorry for anyone who goes to this much trouble to disrespect another’s work.

  • 8 zoe // Mar 17, 2009 at 12:08 am

    ha. Thats kinda funny.. Don’t you know how many fans they have or something? On youtube their video has over 2 million views. And yes its pretty sad that you would go to the trouble of writing that, especially on their most popular song. Personally i love thriving ivory, and anyway their songs dont have one meaning; its a diffrent meaning for everyone.

  • 9 glenn murray // Mar 28, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I couldn’t even read the article all the way. I tell my children, ‘beware the person who translates literally!, they are usually quite thick.’ But, to help a bit, I would much rather read abtract lyrics than country lyrics. The best part of rock and roll is that it is artwork both in the sound and the lyrics. In other words, open for the listeners interpretation as well as the artists.
    In reality, this song is pretty easy to figure out what the writers had in mind, and I am sure the moon part has something to do with the moon being out every night (watching over everyone), much like the Guardian Angels in NYC. Symbolism is a beautiful thing. I know you don’t get it, but it’s ok, millions of others do.

  • 10 Eugene // Mar 30, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    They are playing this song non stop on XM and I really don’t get it. I can’t listen to more than 10 seconds of the song without changing the channel.

  • 11 Cynthia/Tx // Apr 5, 2009 at 1:38 am

    I understand that everyone has to make a living doing what they do best and your doing your thing. As far as Thriving Ivory’s music goes it’s great. If you had any compassion for people and the harsh reality of the worlds hatefulness then you would see where people as myself would understand and take from that paticular song what we need. I do not think Thriving Ivory is trying to heal the wounds of the events that took place on 9/11. You and some people may dislike their music but, by the looks of it the WORLD is loving them. Lyrics are not just what make a Band it’s also how they treat others as well and they are very good to their Fans! As far as Clayton’s voice goes,well, I’m sure he doesn’t need me to defend him but, as a Fan I must say that his voice is unique and that does set him apart….One more thing about their lyrics sometimes people try to read into them and pick them apart as you did but, remember in a year from now where will you be? With music like Angels the guys will be Touring the world and I for one will follow. Hope you get a Private Jet one day also.

  • 12 Tinworm // Apr 9, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    He sounds like Brandi Carlile to me.This song reminds me of “The story ” for some reason.

  • 13 Jinxed // Apr 10, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    One of the top Rock bands of all time was Motley Crue. T.I. sound is Hauntingly close to theirs. Thumbs – up!!

  • 14 carah // May 5, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    There are so many bands out there that sound the same but Thriving Ivory doesn’t which makes them stand out. I know that everyone has a right to their own opinion but seriously at least dont be so mean and harsh about it. I personally love Thriving Ivory and have seen them in concert. They are amazing live. And for all the haters out there you don’t know what good music sounds like!

  • 15 zoe // May 15, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    thriving ivory is the best band ever! you people should quit trashing them.

  • 16 Samantha // Jun 23, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    Im with zoe they rock!

  • 17 terry // Jul 10, 2009 at 8:56 am

    i understood the song the first time i heard it..i think its a wonderful song…i lost my son in 2006 and i understand perfectly what it means…and his voice and the music in great…dont know what the rest of you are talking about..keep going boys .i think you are great

  • 18 Mike // Jul 18, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    Heard this on XM recently and liked it, but honestly thought it sounded like a unique female singing. When I watched the video I was disappointed by the melodrama. The NYC reference should’ve been left out too. Maybe a little pretentious. But the song would’ve been more broadly artistic without it. Kind of like good writing. You don’t have to “tell” too much — let the reader interpret and reach his/her own conclusion about whether it is a tribute to the victims of 9/11 or about the loss of a child or friend. I still love the song, but just pretend the video doesn’t exist!

  • 19 D // Oct 5, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    also, do your homework. Clayton isn’t the songwriter.

  • 20 jordb // May 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    clayton stroopes voice is amazingly unique and is untouchable. this band is great. the more i listen the more i like them

  • 21 stakes& props // May 21, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Thriving Ivory is the best band imaginable to the discerning ear. Stroope’s voice is mesmerizing and unique.

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