Sometimes, it’s clear when a song is a disasterpiece. As in, “Angels on the Moon” by Thriving Ivory or “Angel” by Natasha Bedingfield. One listen, and the horror grabs you by ears.

But sometime a song is a tricksy spirit. As in, “Boom Boom Pow,” the new single from Black Eyed Peas. Is it so terrible that it’s a disasterpiece? Or is it actually a forward-thinking exploration of what pop music can become?

After the jump, I’ll debate myself on this pressing issue.

Moderator: Welcome ladies and gentlemen. We’re here today to debate the question of “Boom Boom Pow” by Black Eyed Peas. Is this new single a hot buttery mess or a tasty piece of genius? Arguing for the song will be Mark Blankenship of The Critical Condition. Arguing against it will be… um…  Mark Blankenship of The Critical Condition. Wait. Is that right?

Mark-Pro: Yes, that’s right.

Moderator: But how is that possible?

Mark-Con: Well, for one thing, Mark… I mean I am divided on the song, and I want to explore both of my reactions. For another, this is all happening on a website, so it’s easy for one person to play multiple roles.

Moderator: Oh, like,  just write everything in script form, and then each of Mark’s voices will seem like a new character?

Mark-Pro: Exactly. I mean, you’re Mark, too.

Moderator: Wh-wh-what? Impossible, man! Mark has never worn breeches with buttons as shiny as these! Quit your tomfoolery and start your debate!

MP: Um,  okay. Let’s see… “Boom Boom Pow.”

This song is awesome, alright? That’s partly because it continues Kanye West and Timbaland’s sonic experiments, blurring the lines between hip-hop, electronica, and, like, cheerleading.  If nothing else, it deserves credit for being so ambitious.

Even better, the song is infectious. The minimalist beat makes it feel empty at times, like there’s an instrumental track that hasn’t been laid in yet, but that lack of sound actually highlights the noisy moments. You’re forced to notice, say, Fergie’s singing, because it explodes like a burst of color in the void. That makes the song dynamic and exciting. (Kanye’s “Love Lockdown” has a similar approach.)

And because “Boom Boom Pow” has such a fluctuating structure, it invites multiple types of dancing. There’s always a beat to make you shake it, but the hyperactivity at 1:54 demands stuttery, crazy movements, while the slower pace of the opening suggests sexy hip sways. You have to admire a song that accomplishes so much in such a short time.

Moderator: Forsooth! You’ve done it, man! As your reward, I shall give you one of the shiny buttons from my breeches. This one bears the visage of a mighty eagle, sir, and your wit has earned you the prize.

MC: When did you become a caricature from the John Adams miniseries?

Moderator: ‘Twas ever so, milord! But your discontent reminds me that you have not had your say. On with ye!

MC: With all respect to my opponent, I disagree. He hears innovation: I hear self-indulgent noise. He hears commands for seven different dances: I hear a shapeless series of bleeps that make it impossible to move with confidence. I mean, should I pop my hip when the crazy space noises start? But wait… now Fergie’s yelling. Should I move my hand like… crap! Now some other guy is rapping in a different meter! How do I move?

I’m not saying songs shouldn’t be ambitious, but “Boom Boom Pow” pushes the envelope so far that it isn’t enjoyable. I mean, there’s just nothing human about this music. When Kanye went electric, he did it with songs that exposed his heartache. There were recognizable emotions amid the beeps and swooshes, and he still found time for an exhilarating, easily-grasped beat.

Here, Black Eyed Peas are just making random boasts in digitally altered voices while chaotic, computerized sounds rattle behind them. There’s no form. There’s no soul. How can anyone connect?  will.i.am is showing us a future where the robots take control.

Either that, or he’s pushing pop music toward the unlistenable terrain of “contemporary classical,” where everything is about theory and experimentation instead of sounds people might actually want to hear.

I hope Black Eyed Peas rediscover melodies and consistent hooks. That way, their music can be fun instead of admirable.

Moderator: Indredible, sir! Truly incredible. You also get a button from my breeches. Take this one engraved with a picture of a pleasant pastoral scene. That shepherdess embodies my affection for your mind.