They’ve been sitting on my DVR for weeks… countless episodes of Heroes just waiting to be watched. There have been days when there was nothing else in my queue, but instead of catching Sylar’s latest massacre, I’ve dug out a Simpsons DVD and seen Lisa become a vegetarian for the twentieth time.
Last night, I finally pulled the plug: I erased all my stored-up episodes, and I canceled my Heroes series recording on my  DVR. That’s it. We’re through.Â
I’m a little sad, you know? Because Heroes and I had some really good times. Sure, we always fought about Nikki/Jessica/Rebecca/Suzette—I didn’t want him seeing her anymore, and he kept bringing her around—but who can forget the night we cried over “Company Man” or got lost together in Mohinder’s dreamy eyes? Dammit, we had a beautiful relationship.
Once. We had a beautiful relationship once, and the memories kept me going through some very tough times. In my anger journal, I’ve got entries titled “Hiro goes to Japan,” “Sylar is so powerful that he’s boring,”and “We get it, Noah lives for Claire.” And the day I wrote “I don’t need your awkward expositional dialogue to understand these blatantly obvious power dynamics,” I was pressing down so hard that I broke my pencil.
Of course, it wasn’t just the memory of the good times that kept Heroes and me together. Everywhere I looked, the creators were making promises to change. “Oh, we’ll clarify the plots,” they said. “We’ll make sure the action moves faster. When you want us to have brunch with your friends, we won’t complain about it.” But it was all just empty words. I kept waiting, kept hoping, and nothing ever changed.Â
So I started to drift, you know? I wasn’t full-on cheating, but I was definitely flirting around. Pushing Daisies and I spent a lot of time together until her dad sent her away, and there were some intense moments with Reaper that still make my palms sweaty. But still, I hung on with Heroes.
Until last December, that is, when this whole “Villains” arc wrapped up. Suddenly, it was clear that we were faking it. I was rolling my eyes when we were together, and I was talking about Heroes behind his back. When we agreed to spend Christmas apart, we both knew that was it, even though we didn’t admit it, even to ourselves.
Since the new year, we’ve made some half-hearted attempts to make up. I watched some episode a few weeks ago, but I was writing e-mail the whole time. We went out for drinks one Friday, but I only stayed for twenty minutes.Â
Then came yesterday. The big break up. It’ll take me a while to get over everything, but I’ve accepted that Heroes and I are finished.
What about you guys? Are there TV relationships you’ve stayed in too long? Any that you’re secretly dying to get out of right now? Let it out right here. Let The Critical Condition be your first step to healing.
