
Dear Jackie Earle Haley,
Tread carefully, sir. Now that you’ve signed on to play Freddy Kreuger in next year’s reboot of Nightmare on Elm Street, your career could take an unsettling turn.
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Granted, you’ll probably never go back to the place you were in before 2006, when Little Children and All the King’s Men threw you a welcome-home party. Before that, as you’ve said in several “comeback trail” interviews, you were so far removed from your child star days in Breaking Away and The Bad News Bears that you were delivering pizzas just to make a living. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to see former costars like Dennis Quaid doing the work you loved, while you were left scraping along.
But like I said, I don’t think that’s going to happen again, since we’ve all realized what a great actor you are. You earned that Oscar nomination as the creepy child molester in Little Children, and you were fantastic in Watchmen. Strong performances like those will keep you in paying gigs for years to come.
But what kind of gigs, J-Man? That’s what I want to talk to you about. You see, I’m afraid that you’re going to be really, really good as Freddy Kreuger. So good that Entertainment Weekly will run a cover story about it, and I’ll end up writing some essay or another extolling you on this very site. And then, you’ll get offered $50 million to appear in five more Nightmare movies, and then… you’ll just be Freddy Kreuger. And all your interesting film work will be shunted aside in favor of a guaranteed paycheck.Â
For the good of the country, please don’t let this happen. We need more actors like you in our sensitive indies and our thinking-man’s action pictures directed by Michael Mann. Please don’t let yourself get stuck in a horror rut. I mean, maybe Robert Englund does a lovely Iago, but we’ll never know, will we?
I know what you’re thinking: Michael Caine followed his Oscar win for Hannah and Her Sisters with Jaws: The Revenge, and he turned out fine. But that’s the exception, Jacks, not the rule. Most of the actors who star in horror flicks end up stuck in them forever. Can you name any movies that Sarah Michelle Gellar made after The Grudge? Can you?!?!
Granted, you are in Martin Scorcese’s upcoming film Shutter Island, and you’re set to star next season in the CBS series Human Target. Those are good, non-Freddy steps, but still… Shutter Island is a psychological thriller, and Human Target is based on a graphic novel. Add this to Watchmen and Elm Street, and even if you don’t wear the knife glove for twenty years, you could still become an actor who only appears in ComiCon-friendly projects. I’d hate for you to get typecast that way.Â
So when you’re taking breaks from slaughtering teenagers in their dreams, would you call your agent about getting into a Chekhov play or something? It would be a shame for us to lose the full scope of your talent just a few years after we got a second chance to see it.
(Oh, also? Don’t interpret this as an anti-Nightmare letter. Excluding Candyman, the original scared me more than any 80s/early 90s horror flick, and I fully expect to be terrified by the remake. But that doesn’t mean I won’t want to see a costume drama next week, you know?)






7 responses so far ↓
1 Aaron // Jun 9, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Let’s be fair. Sarah Michelle Geller isn’t exactly a “good” actress. Save for the fact that you mentioned “The Grudge” and that I, for some reason, have “Southland Tales” on my Netflix queue, I can’t name *ANY* movies she’s been in.
And let’s take your example in reverse: horror movies need *GOOD* actors, too. It wasn’t just the clever scenario design of the first “Saw” film that helped launch the franchise–it was having somewhat respected actors attached to it. We need people like Bruce Campbell as much as we need people like Jim Carrey–for better and worse. (I use that example simply because they were both in “The Majestic,” working to demonstrate the two sides of the coin.)
Why not just write an open letter to all actors? “Dear Sirs and Madams: When projected onto a screen at three times your normal size, please fulfill your obligation to be at least three times better than normal. Thank you.”
2 SG // Jun 9, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I’ve also been impressed with JEH’s resurgence and think that he deserves the chance to find new, great, but obviously offbeat characters. But he has a dangerous intensity for a small guy and that isn’t well suited to being a romantic lead (the new Joe Pesci, anyone?). I don’t know where you got your numbers, but $50 mil is more than he’s made in his life or even imagined until recently. He knows how fickle the industry can be and, in my mind, would be irresponsible if he passed that up. There’s a LOT of creative freedom on the other side of $50 mil. Besides, Kreuger is a masked character (except in flashbacks, and let’s not have many of those, please).
3 Dandy Darkly // Jun 10, 2009 at 11:02 am
Uhmmm… Aaron treads upon dangerous ground saying SMG isn’t a good actress… She’s phenomenal, but is simply a television actress.
4 KarenG // Jun 11, 2009 at 10:56 am
I am afraid that if the talented man wants to make a movie or two in next few years, the franchise is the only way to go. Check out this article from EW via CNN.COM http://tinyurl.com/n45uco
Basically, the article says “adult dramas” are tanking at the box office, and with the recession the studios aren’t so concerned with Oscar bait at the moment. They want those franchise and escapism films that will generate the box office numbers. And ComiCon-friendly projects are pretty much the way to go these days–the fans are usually loyal, they show up opening weekend, and often return to see the film several times.
5 Collin H // Jun 11, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@KarenG That is an EXCELLENT point. Treat a nerd property right, and they will reward you with handfuls of cash. Nobody goes to see Benjamin Button five times in the theater. But how many people saw The Dark Knight or Iron Man multiple times last year? Hell, I saw Transformers six times in the theater, and I don’t even think it’s that great of a film!
This phenomenon carries over to DVD sales as well. I would wager that Oscar-bait films are more likely to only get rented compared to other types of movies. Franchise films have people counting down the days until Best Buy will sell them a limited edition uncut DVD to replace the regular one they bought six months ago.
Then theres the merchandising on top of all that. Slumdog Millionaire toys aren’t going to pull in as much revenue as Freddy Kruger halloween costumes.
So, yeah, by concentrating on pleasing the audience that continues to throw handfuls of money at them, Hollywood is doing what it needs to do to survive the evil home theater enthusiasts and media pirate assault. And if JEH wants to act, then signing up for seven or eight nightmares on Elm Street would be a great way to afford a Ferrari to deliver pizzas in after the franchise dries up.
6 Collin H // Jun 12, 2009 at 11:11 am
And speak of the devil…
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/11/ew.movies.adults/index.html
7 Aaron // Jun 15, 2009 at 2:38 am
@Dandy Darkly — One Buffy fan to, presumably, another: I’m sure we just have different expectations of “good” acting. The way you talk, I’m assuming your scale goes like this: a terrific actor has range (Depp), a great actor has skill (Carrey), and a good actor gets the job done (Geller). However, I need an actor to surprise me: with Buffy, I watched to see what Whedon would do, not to see how Geller would tackle the role.
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