We might as well capitulate to them. The new singles from Colbie Caillat and Mariah Carey are going to be everywhere for the next few weeks.

Caillat, who’s best know for that “crinkle my nose” song (a.k.a. “Bubbly”), just released “Fallin’ For You,” a mid-tempo ballad that hit the top three of the iTunes chart in less than a day.

Carey, meanwhile, is scorching the airwaves with “Obsessed,” and after she releases the song to the digital marketplace next week, she’ll probably snag her nineteenth number one single.

But are these songs any good? Let’s find out…

(1) “Fallin’ For You” by Colbie Caillat

I can’t find this song on YouTube, so I’ll just link to the audio. Go check it out, and I’ll wait here.

(Humming to myself.)

Welcome back! Now let’s chat…

Isn’t it nice that Carly Simon still has admirers? This is a perfectly pleasant tune that would have conquered easy listening radio in the 70s.

Like Caillat herself, though,  it suffers from a lack of distinction. “Fallin’ For You” may as well be the latest hit from Vanessa Carlton or  Mandy Moore (whose voice is more distinctive.)

Yet as generic as it is, the song’s on fire. Why?

I think it’s partially because Caillat is the female version of Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. Like them, she records sleepy-eyed, good-natured tunes that are perfect for singing around a bonfire. If a song like “Umbrella” is an anthem for summer days, then Caillat and company are making music for summer nights.

And when you look at the pop charts, it’s clear that we need a relaxing hit right now. Those Black Eyed Peas songs are catchy,  but they’re frenetic. Lady GaGa wants us to dance until we vomit, and you can’t truly chill out to songs about dirty sex, so there goes Drake.  The country needs a tune it can play on low volume while it sits on the porch, sipping a beer and waving at the kids who are playing tag  in last bit of daylight.

To that end, “Fallin’ For You’s” blankness could guarantee its dominance. It asks nothing of us,  and that’s what we want from a summer guest. We’re all too busy tanning or grilling to really focus on anything, so the songs that provide the most mindless hooks are the easiest to play. They add texture to the evening without distracting from it.

(2) “Obsessed” by Mariah Carey

Have we ever talked about “More Mariah Than You Can Shake a Stick At?”

That was the name of the all-Mariah Carey mixtape I made in eighth grade, when I was simultaneously falling for indie acts like The Judybats and pop stars like Janet Jackson. During this period, I solemnly told my cousins that Mariah Carey had the most beautiful voice that I had ever heard.

In retrospect, quite a few of her songs sucked, but I will still defend “Love Takes Time” and “Vision of Love” and “Dreamlover.”  And years after I dismissed Mariah’s newer music as desperately sexual faux-hop, she dropped “We Belong Together” on me like an awesomeness bomb. Because of that, I approach all of her new singles with hope, despite the fact that her voice is clearly blown.

So I listen to this with an open mind…

Now, I refuse to learn details about Carey’s feud with Eminem, which apparently inspired this single. She may be dissing him through song, but if I learn why, then part of me will die. Therefore, I choose to hear “Obsessed” as a generic kiss-off. (La la la! I can’t hear you!)

And I’ve got to say… this kiss-off is bangin’. I resisted it at first, because I still fantasize that the old, adult contemporary Mariah will come back and croon me to sleep. But when I accept that ain’t gonna happen, I can hear the hotness of the beat and appreciate the cleverness of the lyrics. “See right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex?” Good one, Mimi.

Also, that computerized “uh-uh-uh-uh” sound she makes at the end of the chorus is cool.

And yes, it’s unsettling that a woman in her late thirties insists on behaving like a sex kitten who can’t resist flaunting her new fake boobs. (See the cover art to your left.) And yes, it would be nice if a singer who once had stellar pipes hadn’t been reduced to breathy cooing.

But like I’m doing with the Eminem thing, I’m choosing to ignore all that. Divorced from it’s context, “Obsessed” is great.