Moments before I absorbed The Hurt Locker‘s somber reflection on the addictive danger of war, I saw the trailer for Sorority Row, about a psycho killer who chases scantily clad college students.

I’d say that only one of the two has a shot at a Best Director nomination, but you never know…

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The Movie: Sorority Row (opening September 11… to honor America’s tragedy)

The Buzz: This is a remake of the 1983 slasher flick The House on Sorority Row, which I haven’t seen (or even heard of). But hey… whatever gives Carrie Fisher more work.

Also, Rumer “Daughter of Bruce and Demi” Willis co-stars with some girl from The Hills. The A-List is being rewritten before our eyes, no doubt.

The Trailer:

The Review:

You guys, I will be seeing this movie on opening day. How could I miss something so wonderfully awful? So trashily delightful? So magically delicious?

What’s more, I’d say it’s a plus that this trailer gives away most of the plot. I don’t need surprises with my D-grade slasher flicks: I need guarantees that I will laugh at the gory excess. This snippet provides that guarantee.

Bonus points for letting Carrie Fisher get all hardass in the last scene. Double bonus points for creating a vision of college life that doesn’t exist—hooded black robes at graduation?—but that will probably seem realistic to the middle schoolers who watch this movie at a sleepover.

The Rating : Two and a Half Bottles of Cheap, Cheap Beer