You guys… what if two women get a Best Director nomination at the Oscars this year? Will the world spin backwards? Will Diet Dr. Pepper finally start tasting like regular Dr. Pepper?

I’m asking these questions because I went to see The September Issue, the new documentary about Anna Wintour, on Saturday, and there was a preview for Amelia, Mira Nair’s biopic of Amelia Earhart.

Let’s watch the trailer, and then I’ll explain why I’m cautiously predicting such a crazy implosion of Oscar’s standard m.o.

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Welcome to Sucker Punch, the only blog post that ranks the gaudiest moments on this week’s episode of True Blood.

This week, despite some unusually confusing and formless writing from Alan Ball, we still get all kinds of tacky goodness, including one particularly freaky scene with a giant egg.

To read all about it, just follow this link to The Huffington Post.

You guys, Roommate Joe and I have come up with the perfect idea for a TV show.

Do you remember 227, that unstoppably awesome 80s sitcom about a group of people living in the same apartment building? And do you remember how Jackée Harry played a vaguely slutty character named Sandra, who would talk to her friend Mary in a squeaky voice? And do you remember how she would use this voice to say “Ooooh, Mary?”

As a refresher, watch this genius clip. It doesn’t feature an “Ooooh, Mary,” but it rules:

So here’s the idea: Jackée—who is an Emmy award-winning actress, remember–should star in an informational reality series called Ooooh Mary!, in which she gives advice to gay men.

Whether they’re in her studio audience or on the phone or sending her e-mails, Jackée can advise said gay men on everthing from relationships to politics. And for the really serious conundrums, she can begin her answer by saying, “Ooooh, Mary! That’s a tough one.”

Wouldn’t you watch that? I would. It could come on after RuPaul’s Drag Race. If you know Jackée’s people or the programming executives at Logo, please get them to e-mail me. I’m not kidding about this idea. I think it would be great.

Hey everyone! After a week and a half away, it’s great to be back at The Critical Condition.

I took a vacation because I’m ramping up for a new chapter in my professional life: Next month, I’m starting a new job as Content Editor/Writer for the Theater Development Fund’s website, which means I’ll be writing and/or assigning features every week. This gives me a remarkable opportunity to host an ongoing conversation about the theater, and I’m looking forward to sharing my work with you. (To kick things off, here’s a piece I just posted about Thomas Bradshaw, a controversial playwright who’s making waves Off Broadway.)

My new job will not affect The Critical Condition, however. If anything, I’ll have more time to write here, since I won’t have to hustle for freelance assignments. (It’s such a relief it is to be earning a steady paycheck for the first time since 2002!)

Besides, I could never leave the community that’s developing here! I know I don’t know most of you guys, but all week, I’ve been missing our conversations. I’ve been especially anxious to discuss Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds and how critics have ignored a valid and exciting interpretation of the film.

Let’s get to that, shall we?

(WARNING: There are major spoilers ahead, beginning in the very first paragraph after the jump)

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You guys, don’t judge a Charlie’s Angels movie by its cover. As in, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle might look terrible, but it’s actually really good.

To explain why Full Throttle is an overlooked masterpiece, I’m pleased to welcome Critical Condition reader Collin Hamrick. (You may remember his spin on the Michael Jackson commemorative plate.)

Take it away, Collin!

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Direct from his sensational website Only Good Movies, please welcome film critic Shane Rivers. He’ll be taking the lead on the 1979 edition of The Best Picture Expansion Project, where we imagine that the newly reinstated Oscar rule of nominating ten films for Best Picture applied from 1943 to 2008.

Take it away, Shane…

(To visit the rest of the project, please go here.)

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Welcome to Sucker Punch, the only blog post that ranks the gaudiest moments on this week’s episode of True Blood.

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This week, we’ve got a big plate of awesome to enjoy. There are surprising character developments, whiz-bang action, and a tree full of meat.

For all the Sucker Punch-y goodness, join me here at The Huffington Post.

Now that the Michael Jackson uproar has died down a bit—at least until that concert movie gets released in October– perhaps it’s time for a bit more reflection on Farrah Fawcett.

For Rossi, the fantastic writer, humorist, and radio host, the best way to remember Farrah is with an entry for Oh Brawling Love!

After the jump, please join Rossi on her journey from Farrah Hate to Farrah Admiration.

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The Movie: Jennifer’s Body (opening September 18)

The Buzz: Diablo Cody follows her Oscar-winning Juno script with a horror flick about a high school she-beast who bangs boys and then devours them. Megan Fox continues to give entertainment journalists something to write about.

The Trailer:
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Welcome to Sucker Punch, the only blog post that ranks the gaudiest moments on this week’s episode of True Blood.

For all the juicy, nasty vampire business, please join me over here at The Huffington Post.