Thanks to Doug Strassler for reminding me that Invictus should have been on my list of the worst movies I saw this year. Here’s the entry I forgot to write…
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Invictus
You remember how I was worried that this movie was going to be sanctimonious? And that it would mash complex questions of racial relationships in South Africa into tasteless, colorless pabulum? I was totally prescient, you guys.
The way Clint Eastwood directs (and the way his writers write), it’s like they’re smart guys, but they think we’re too stupid to hold up our end of a conversation. So they use sophisticated camera techniques and highly polished scripts to make the most simplistic points imaginable… like they’re doing us a damn favor by introducing our tiny minds to concepts like racial inequality or parental grief or lady boxerdom.
I will give Invictus this, however… it provides me with an image that encapsulates why I generally hate Eastwood’s movies. Now, I don’t have to explain my loathing any more. I can just describe this image and be done with it.
In the movie’s final moments, you see, when the South African rugby team wins the World Cup, thus uniting the nation’s races around a common sport and helping Nelson Mandela start the process of healing, we see a shot of Matt Damon holding his team’s trophy. Then we get a close-up of his white hand on the trophy. And then we see a black hand slide into the frame, gripping Damon’s hand and the trophy at the same time.
And then we get a wave of nausea. Or at least I do.
That pretty much sums up my response to Eastwood’s humorless, pompous inistence on “teaching me” what I’ve known since I was in utero. The man is a talented filmmaker, but other than with Changeling, he’s never applied his talent to anything that respects me the way the critical community clearly wants me to respect him.







10 responses so far ↓
1 Robin // Jan 29, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I think Unforgiven was the last Eastwood film I saw in the theater. I hated, hated it and felt left out when everyone else raved about it. Thanks for articulating your dislike of Eastwood films. I’ll just quote you from now on rather than do my normal babbling.
2 josh // Jan 29, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Mark – you’ve always had a way to sum up a respons, right there in front of you:
Insucktus
Million Dollar Suck
Mystic Suck
Suckforgiven
3 Beth // Jan 29, 2010 at 9:39 pm
This may get me laughed at, but I thought The Bridges of Madison County was a beautiful movie. Largely due to Eastwood and Streep’s chemistry. And his willingness to largely ditch the crap that was the source material and make the film darker and more melancholy than Robert James Waller’s terrible book.
4 Mark Blankenship // Jan 29, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Hey Beth … You know, I take your point. I will add “Bridges” to the list of directorial efforts that I think are successful. “Changeling” and “Bridges.”
5 Beth // Jan 30, 2010 at 12:32 am
Thanks Mark! I haven’t seen any of his other films, and what’s weird is that I’ve had no inclination to despite all his accolades. I did add Changeling to my Netflix queue. My general mehness toward Angelina Jolie notwithstanding, it looks like a good movie.
6 Rachel // Jan 30, 2010 at 3:10 am
Please, please don’t forget the use of the song “Colorblind” (loudly) as Mandela’s helicopter lands on the practice field.
7 Doug // Jan 30, 2010 at 10:20 am
Hi Beth,
I concur — I’ve always thought BOMC was a great movie.
Doug
8 Mark Blankenship // Jan 30, 2010 at 11:16 am
Rachel, no joke… that moment is a close second for “most-hated” in this movie. It actually made me groan out loud in the theatre. Also? The song “Colorbind,” with its emo-lite guitars and guyliner vocals, sounds completely anachronistic for a film set in the mid-nineties. Apparently, Eastwood was so intent on making his “colorblindness” point that he was willing to trade historical accuracy for preachiness. Two seconds of dramaturgical research would have turned up “I Believe” by Blessid Union of Souls, and then he could have scored that ulcer-making scene with a treacly song about race relations that was also decade-appropriate. But I guess he was too busy dreaming of the Freedom Medal he was going to win for this movie to worry about details like that.
9 Laura Mc. // Jan 31, 2010 at 3:50 am
The last line in Changeling was incredibly corny and ruined what was salvageable about that amorphous, charmless, uneven indulgence of a film.
Please.
“Yes, but I have something I didn’t have before.”
“What’s that, Miss Collins?”
“Hope.”
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFF.
10 Sarah // Feb 1, 2010 at 11:25 am
I’m with Laura Mc. I didn’t like Changeling at all. Take out all of the times Angie says “he’s not my son” in whatever level of distress she’s in at any given time and all you have left is a 15 minute film. Lost’s Michael screaming “WAAAAAAALT” can’t even begin to compete with the times she says the same line in Changeling.
Man, that movie annoyed me. (And I didn’t even remember the ending line until I saw it here…that’s the icing on the hate cake.)
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