Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

Here it is. Are you nervous? I’m a little nervous. I’ve tried on five outfits, and my hair is just a fright, but oh my gosh, there’s no more time to prepare. Now is the moment. Here are my top ten Madonna singles of all time.

Okay, okay… one more stall. I want to thank everyone who’s been following this countdown. Your interest has made it even more fun.

Now it’s time. Let the countdown conclude.

[Read more →]

Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

Oooooo-weeee! We’re getting down to the wire, and everywhere you look, there’s a classic song demanding to be acknowledged. The next part of the countdown includes some of Madonna’s best-known work and two songs that should’ve charted much higher than they did.

[Read more →]

Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

Welcome to flavor country, people. The next batch of Madonna singles includes some undeniable classics and more hooky grooves than Captain Hook’s dining table. (Because he scratches it with his hook, thus making grooves. Ha! Wait… where are you going?)

[Read more →]

Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

For any other artist, this next batch of singles would be the highlight of a career. They’re all very good, and some of them are great… and when I consider that they’re not even in my top thirty, I’m reminded that Madonna is more than a “shrewd businesswoman.” People have called her that for years, and they mean she’s less an artist than a collection of successful strategies.

And while I would never claim that she’s the world’s best singer or songwriter, I submit these songs—her “mid-range” hits, if you will—as proof that she is much more than a CEO with a head mic. From producer to producer, from era to era, she has developed an excellent body of material that deserves to be respected as art as well as commerce.

Speaking of respect… I am totally stoked by all the “True Blue” fans who have written to insist that the song should have ranked higher than number 45. I had no idea it was so beloved! I’ll be interested to see what you think of the following. Remember, when someone has this many hit, some of them have to rank low…

[Read more →]

Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

Even though we’re at the low end of the list, we’re not really in trouble. Madonna’s least accomplished singles might be forgettable and derivative, but they are generally not unpleasant to hear. With a few ungodly exceptions, I actually like every song here… but like isn’t the same as love, you know?

[Read more →]

Welcome to Ranking Madonna’s Singles, in which I rank all 55 Madonna songs that have charted on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart.

To see all the entries in this countdown, just go here.

—

Why am I doing this? Well, at this point, Madonna’s songs have been a constant part of my life for twenty-five years. In 1985, when I was six years old, I saved my allowance and bought the 45 single of “Material Girl.” Five years later, when I was walking past a neighbor’s house and heard “Vogue” coming out of the radio she kept on her windowsill, I knew I needed to hear that song again right away. The night before I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Like a Prayer album (on cassette!), I prayed for God to give me a sign if He thought owning Madonna’s music was a sin. At the time, she was making out with a black Jesus in a music video, so I felt like I needed to cover my bases. When I woke up the next morning without a bleeding dove at the foot of my bed, I figured the Lord wanted me to hear “Cherish” whenever I desired.

And that’s just the tip of the cone bra. In sixth grade, I frequently stayed in from recess to practice voguing. When I was an R.A. in college, I made it a hall-wide program to watch the premiere of the “What It Feels Like for a Girl” video on MTV. One night in 2008, I started refreshing my iTunes right at midnight, just so I could download “4 Minutes” the moment it was released.

Why does Madonna’s music affect me so deeply? Why do I hang on through every rise and fall in her popularity? Why can I remember exactly where I was when I bought Ray of Light?**

I’ll explore those questions throughout this list, and I’ll throw some serious gauntlets. Is “Don’t Tell Me” better than “Music?” Is “Crazy for You” a classic or a snoozer? Oh, my friends… I address all those burning questions and more.

Before I start ranking Madonna’s 55 Hot 100 hits, however, I want to praise her top album tracks. These songs were either never released or didn’t chart, but they still deserve a place in the Madge Hall of Fame.

**1998. Midnight. Tower Records in downtown Atlanta. My friend Brandt and I rode home from the release party in his silver convertible, blasting the song “Ray of Light” over and over.

[Read more →]

Did y’all hear about the volcano that exploded in Iceland yesterday? Snap! What a way to end my trip!

Granted, all I experienced was a four-hour flight delay, so it’s not like I was in Pompeii. And besides, the rest of my trip was amazing. Along with my DP (Director of Photography) Brad, I interviewed eighteen Icelanders in three days, collecting  fascinating information about how the theatre in their country actually flourished after the its crippling economic collapse. Artists are making work, audiences are attending in record numbers… times are hard there, but in another sense, they’re great.

Considering that the conventional wisdom in America is that our recession will keep people out of the theatre, I found these conversations fascinating. I’m thinking that my film will focus how America and Iceland have related to the theatre after their economic crises. My gut tells me that within that narrow focus, there’s a real discovery to be made about how nations handle this kind of turmoil.

Ooh! And I have to tell you that there footage of me in the City Theatre of Reykjavik, leaping off a twenty foot-high platform into a net that’s hanging above the theatre’s seats. This set-up is being used for an inventive production of Faust, and when I got invited to take a freefall, I said yes. I bounced really high off the net and bruised my shins and feared for my own safety. It was exhilarating.

But anyway, here’s the main thing I wanted to share… When I was in Iceland’s Keflavik Airport, waiting out the volcano, I felt strangely attentive. Alert. What was it? What was I waiting for?

I was waiting for noise. Despite being fairly busy yesterday, the airport was remarkably quiet. I spent a lot of my downtime in a large, open seating area, and after I’d been there a few hours, a woman’s cell phone went off. With a jolt, I realized that this was the first truly intrusive sound I’d heard all day.

(more)

[Read more →]

By DOUG STRASSLER

Tuesday, March 23, marks the twentieth anniversary of the release of one of my very favorite movies of all time, Pretty Woman. Can it really be two whole decades? That’s crazy! And yet no matter what else I’ve seen in and done in those twenty intervening years, nothing can take away my love for that movie.

It’s a film that worked in spite of itself. Like Casablanca, which they kept rewriting as it went along, director Garry Marshall kept re-working J.F. Lawton’s dark script about a prostitute trapped in the seedy underbelly of L.A. life into the light modern-day Pygmalion it became.

[Read more →]

By DOUG STRASSLER

You know what really grinds my gears these days? Spoilers. They’re everywhere. They’re on the Internet, and they’re called out in reviews. People can’t seem to wait to see the next episode of a TV show or to actually see a movie to find out what happens.

I’m not exactly sure where the need for spoilers comes from. I have friends that have to read about every element of next week’s Lost and The Office before the current episode is practically finished. Do people think they look smarter in front of their friends if they already know what is about to happen? I know I hate it when someone narrates or predicts along with what I’m watching, whether or not I can figure it out for myself. Or do they need to know because they simply Just. Cannot. Wait?

[Read more →]

Hello everyone… I’ve been a little quiet these last few days because I am preparing to fly to Iceland to shoot my first-ever documentary film (!!!). I’ll be gone the rest of the week, but I’ll return on Monday full of tales (or Sagas, if you will.)

Long-time readers may remember that last year, I won a grant from the Art Matters Foundation. I’m using the award to head to Reykjavik with my friend, the cinematographer Brad Coffman. We’re making a film about Iceland’s fascinating theatre scene, which is one of the most unique I’ve ever encountered. Along with interviewing a host of artists, artistic directors, and critics, we’re also seeing two shows and peeking in on some rehearsals.

Even longer-time readers may recall that this will be my third trip to Iceland. In 2006 Andrew and I went for our first anniversary, and in 2008 I traveled there to review an international theatre festival. Clearly, I love me some Icelanders.

I cannot wait to take this trip, and I’m anticipating having a very exciting movie to show you in a few weeks.

Also? I’m kind of exploding wtih gratitude for the universe.  How the hell did a public school student from semi-rural Tennessee end up doing something like this?

Partially, I feel like this entire project came about because I said “yes” to scary things.

I mean… consider this: I just happened to be talking with an artist friend last year about needing extra money, and she mentioned the Art Matters grant. Even though The Critical Condition didn’t exactly fit within the organization’s guidelines, I decided to apply.

When I got an award, I knew I wanted to make some short videos about various elements of Icelandic culture, but when Brad suggested we create a longer, narrative documentary about a single subject, I felt nervous. Could I do it? Could I really make a film? I decided to believe that I could.

Then came the prep work… calling all these people in Iceland and America and identifying myself not as a writer, but as a filmmaker. Whoa! I’ve never defined myself that way before, and at first, it was scary. Was this new identity allowed?

Well… it was allowed because I allowed it to be. You know what I mean? I decided to say “yes” to the idea that I was a filmmaker. The short films I’ve been making for TDF STAGES boosted my confidence enough to make me give it a shot.

Besides, there was a time when I wasn’t really making my living as a critic and reporter, but I was calling myself a critic and reporter anyway. Eventually, the label became true. Same deal with being the host of a pop culture criticism website. I kept saying I wanted The Critical Condition to happen, and then, thanks to a lot of persistance from a lot of great people, it did.

I’m not saying I haven’t worked hard, or that I haven’t been blessed with lucky breaks. I have, and I have. But for years, I’ve also forced myself to say “yes” to new things. I’ve forced myself, despite my ever-present nerves, to keep giving stuff a whirl.

This is partly because of my training in improv comedy, where a scene dies unless you say “yes” to whatever random suggestion your partner gives you. If she says, “Why do you have an elephant on your head?” and you say, “That’s not an elephant, stupid; it’s a crow,” then you will kill the moment. You will destroy the momentum of a scene by refusing to accept what is offered you. This has become part of my life philosophy as well. It’s less demanding and risky to shut things down, to close doors, but it’s rarely as rewarding.

So… as I embark on a crazy, unexpected new adventure—to make a movie! in Iceland!—I feel I should reflect on this whole “saying yes” thing. If you find yourself being asked to do something strange or new or difficult, then let me encourage you to nod your head at it. Let it enter your life. You might end up on a plane, next to a cinematographer, trying to remember where the good hot dog places are neear the Hotel Reykjavik Centrum.