Usually, I know exactly when a song is a disasterpiece, but sometimes, I get confused.
Last year, I couldn’t decide if “Boom Boom Pow” was a hot hit or a hot steaming pile. Since I’ve now purchased The E.N.D. and occasionally phased “BBP” into my workout mix, I’ve obviously put it in the “win” column, though I still like it less than recent Black Eyed Peas hits like “I Gotta Feeling” and “Meet Me Halfway.”
I felt similar uncertainty when my friend Collin tweeted me yesterday, asking if I would declare Young Money’s “BedRock,” currently #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, a disasterpiece. (Sidebar: Are you following me on Twitter? If not, won’t you join me for some bonus musings, links, and sass?)
My ambivalent heart… after the jump
The Case for Disasterpiecing “BedRock”
To a degree, I can see Collin’s point. The song is a mess. For one thing, Young Money isn’t even the name of an artist, it’s the name of Lil’ Wayne’s record label, and on “Bedrock,” it sounds like every person on the payroll, including the custodian and the guy who stocks the vending machine, showed up to drop a verse.
To be super-specific, the song is 4:48 long, and it features appearances by six rappers: Lil Wayne, Gudda Gudda, Nicki Minaj, Drake, Tyga, and Jae Millz. (I’ve only heard of half these people.) And then for good measure, R&B singer Lloyd, who is signed to a completely different label, shows up to sing the hook.
And what does this Council of Learned Elders s rap about? Are they explaining why they won’t play Sun City or raising money for Haitian orphans? No. They’re rapping about sex. And not even sex, really. More like freaky-deaking. It’s possibile that listening to this song will give you genital warts.
Meanwhile, if you don’t like the two-note minimalism of modern hip-hop, then you are out of luck here. The beat is more like a suggestion of a beat.
The Case Against Disasterpiecing “BedRock”
And yet… this is some catchy shit. The chorus is especially earworm-y, and I can’t fully hate on a song that gets stuck in my head.
I also like the laconic pace crafted by producer Kane Beatz. Despite the dirty lyrics, it makes the song sound sexy instead of horny.
Also, several of the rappers stand out. Gudda Gudda has a striking baritone and a pleasantly relaxed flow, and the charming wink in Drake’s voice helps explain the six million hits he’s had in the last year.
Nicki Minaj, meanwhile, deserves her own paragraph. She hasn’t dropped a solo single yet, but given the number of songs she’s guesting on right now—along with “BedRock,” she appears on current singles from Ludacris, Usher, and Mariah Carey—she’s clearly being groomed for hip-hop superstardom. She deserves it. She’s got a great voice that hovers somewhere between scratchy and squeaky, and like a female Ludacris, she wields it with theatrical flair. She does that Durrty South thing where she over-exaggerates certain words for comic effect, and she really nails the “asbestos” bit of her verse, pronouncing each syllable like it’s a separate laugh line. (If only she could demonstrate her talent on songs that aren’t about loveless, degrading sex, but I figure I’m tilting at windmills on that one.
On another side note, it’s nice to have a female rapper on the scene again. Other than Lil’ Mama, women have been totally absent from mainstream hip-hop for years.)
Finally, some of the lyrics in “BedRock” are downright clever. “Call me Mr. Flintstone/I can make your bed rock?” Hee! “And now we murderers, because we kill time?” Ho!
For me, these credits outweigh the debits. I’m not going to download “BedRock,” but when it comes on the radio, I’m not going to complain .
How about you? Where would you rank “BedRock” on the disasterpiece scale?
4 responses so far ↓
1 Collin H // Mar 4, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Obviously, I vote for Disasterpiece status. This song is a trainwreck of biblical proportions. It practically goes down the checklist for everything thats wrong and horrible in modern pop – too many singers, lazy beat, spacey sound effects, and the message is nothing more than I LIKE TO HAVE SEX. The only things it’s missing is excessive autotuning and some chick singing random notes into a mic, sounding like shes having some kind of messed up orgasm.
There’s way too many people on this song, and none of their parts are at all connected to each other. Remember back in school when the teacher would have one student read the first paragraph, then another read the second, and so on? That’s what this song is. A bunch of people reciting the words with no emotional or musical connection to the other participants.
Speaking of musical connections, the backing track is cold, soulless, and boring. It does nothing to integrate itself into the narrative of the song. Also, hip-pop needs to recognize that using spacey, quasi-futuristic keyboard noises does not equal a compelling musical hook.
There’s a place in this world for songs about getting it on, but make it more interesting than just going to the club and banging the chick cause she’s a hottie. Create a story for fuck’s sake! Describe characters! Situations! Plot! You’re supposed to be a creative artist with something to say!
Also, I’m afraid I have to disagree with your evaluation of the lyrics. What you’re finding clever, I’m seeing as incredibly hokey. Drake’s verse is by far the worst offender. I still have no idea what the hell hes talking about when he transitions from sushi to Ricky Bobby. The closing lyric to his verse, meant to be cheeky I suppose, just comes across as obnoxious.
I recognize that it’s possible that the song isn’t actually as bad as I think it is. I’m obviously not the target audience. It is quite possible that I’m getting old and just don’t get these kids with their texting and md3′s and myface pages. However, I don’t hate all modern pop, and can find worth in many songs that I dont really care for. So, I’m pretty sure that I’m not being that much of an old fogey about this.
I’m pretty sure that this song just sucks.
2 Dani // Mar 4, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I am in love with this song. It stays stuck in my head for days at a time, so I may try to claim that it’s a “disasterpiece” because it probably should be, but clearly it’s working for me. I’m also trying to resist Drake, but it is proving futile. Oh, Jimmy Brooks. Glad you’re out of your wheelchair.
3 ferretrick // Mar 5, 2010 at 7:19 am
I’m with Colin. Obviously, rap is not my thing, so maybe I can’t judge, but the second guy with the chains? That seems to me to be some TERRIBLE rapping. He has no rhythm and sounds like he’s asleep.
Its a mishmash mess.
4 Raphael // Mar 23, 2010 at 2:02 am
So, I’d say my iPod is 96% hip-hop, and I can say this song is just plain GARBAGE. Hell to the YEAH it’s a fuking disaser piece. For some reason, it seems like rap songs that are absolutely TERRIBLE get the most popularity IDK. Stupid songs or simple minds, take your pick.
Anyways, the lyrics make almost no sense(And I got her n****,grocery bag?) besides that they all want to f**k, their flow, rythym, and rhymes are absolutely retarded, and above all, they all just sound horrible. It seems like popularity just comes with your name and not your talent.
But hey, know why it’s successful? It’s catchy on the hook, like all the retarded rap songs are.
BTW, Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your Bed Rock? A 3rd grader who watches too much south park probably could’ve come up with that.
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