By DOUG STRASSLER

While the news of Corey Haim’s death earlier this week wasn’t exactly shocking, it sure was sad. Haim represents a window of my childhood that I look back upon fondly. Between that and last Sunday’s fitting John Hughes tribute at the Oscars, my mind shuttled back to a period where students didn’t have the privacy of cell phones nor the luxury of contact lenses, and I knew I wanted to say something about it. And then I realized just what it was that I wanted to say: goodbye.

I bid farewell to thinking I have any claim on those actors with whom I feel I grew up. I imagine that a great majority of this site’s readership is comprised of people for whom the teen movies of the 1980s in some way reflected our lives at the time or gave us a preview of what was to come (maybe more emotionally than literally, but still). Movies like Adventures in Babysitting, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Goonies, Just One of the Guys, Lucas and Pretty in Pink are some of the more cherished memories of my movie-loving life.

I saw them when I was a blank slate, old enough to have my eyes open but young enough to be a sponge and absorb whatever I was exposed to. Those aforementioned movies were original, funny, smart and tender, which is why they live on forever. Their kind doesn’t exist now.

And I held onto those actors that I grew up alongside as my own, not as friends, per se, but as people whose lives, and subsequent roles, I watched with either marvel or disappointment. It’s why I followed Ally Sheedy to Maid to Order and why I cheered when Elisabeth Shue got her Leaving Las Vegas nomination. It’s why I’ll watch Ferris a thousand times with a huge grin before I sit through a sad exercise like watching Matthew Broderick in The Starry Messenger again.

But the thing is, while these actors entered our lives because of their movie and television work, it was just that to them: work. It was just a singular part of their lives, and perhaps not something they bestow as much weight on in their lives as we do in ours. Is it wrong to love an actor whose performances somehow touched us personally? No – but we should remember that such love cannot be reciprocated.

There are two distinct camps when it comes to celebrities – those for whom Hollywood serves a career pursuit, and those for whom it represents a larger lifestyle. Haim seems to have gotten caught up in the latter. He referred to himself as a “chronic relapser” after two decades of battles with substance abuse, and, sadly, he won’t be the last casualty of the trappings of a life of excess. For every Jodie Foster, Ron Howard or Helen Hunt, there will always be a Jonathan Brandis, River Phoenix or Dana Plato, those who puncture their good fortune with temptation and vices. Part of growing older is learning that those we thought of as “great” when we were younger can’t sustain such lives of greatness. It’s true of those we know in life, and it’s true of those in Hollywood.

And yet even when they are gone, in a sense, stars are fortunate enough to have their best years immortalized on celluloid. Below are several highlights from Haim’s career, as I’ll prefer to remember him:

A Time to Live – Haim won a Young Artist Award for his sensitive portrayal of Peter Weisman, who struggled with muscular dystrophy. Liza Minnelli co-starred as his mother, Mary-Lou. (Happy 64th birthday today, Liza!)

Murphy’s Romance – this is one of the most charming adult romances I’ve ever seen. Sally Field is a horse trainer who moves to Arizona following her divorce; she meets town pharmacist James Garner (in his only Oscar-nominated role ever), who just might have the right Rx for her heart. Haim is charming as her resilient son.

Lucas – one of my favorite movies ever. Lucas couldn’t be more of an outcast: he’s nerdy, he’s younger than his classmates, and he has a rotten home life. His hopes for a relationship with new girl in town Kerri Green are dashed when she falls for stud Charlie Sheen. The web gets more tangled when Lucas tries out for the football team. Haim never demonstrated more promise than he does here. Look out for Winona Ryder in her movie debut and stick around for one of the best last scenes Hollywood has ever produced.

The Lost Boys – Pre-Twilight, Joel Schumacher showed how to make a vampire film. With humor! Haim and Jason Patric are brothers who move to a coastal California town (again, following the divorce of mother Dianne Weist) and find something is off with something disturbing is going on. This also marked the first of eight pairings between Haim and BFF Corey Feldman (pictured together above), which included…

…License to Drive – As someone who always relied on the kindness of classmates with cars in high school, I empathized with this movie, about a teen who fails his driver’s exam. Heather Graham co-stars as his crush. A totally fun joyride.

In Out of Africa, Karen Blixen (in the form of Meryl Streep) eulogizes a loved one by saying, “He was not mine, he was not ours.” I agree and disagree with this statement. As fans, we’ll never know what brought him joy or sorrow. His demons were his own. But we do get to hold onto a part of him thanks to the magic of VHS and DVD. I know I plan on watching Lucas again soon.

Wherever you are Corey, I hope you’re getting one long slow clap. You’ve certainly earned that.