THURSDAY UPDATE: The final games of ROUND TWO posted today, and the SWEET SIXTEEN will start appearing tomorrow. Home stretch, people! The Kate Bush/Simple Minds poll crazily ended in a 50/50 split, so Joe, Nick, and I cast votes. We came down 2-1 for Simple Minds.
THE CRITICAL CONDITION IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE…
THE ULTIMATE POP SONG TOURNAMENT.
You will decide the winner in an epic match-up among the 64 best pop songs released since 1981. Songs will face off two at a time, and you will vote on which song should advance to the next round.
* VIEW THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT BRACKET
* VOTING UPDATES AND OTHER FUN STUFF
* How often will match-ups be posted?
There will be at least one match-up posted on The Critical Condition every day. During the first two weeks, when there are lots of songs in contention, I will post between four and five match-ups per day. As the field narrows, the number of daily match-ups will decrease.
* I can’t vote today. How long are various match-ups open?
Each match-up will be open for five days.
* How did you choose the songs in this tournament?
Realizing that I needed some help to choose the contenders for the ultimate pop song, lest I forget a classic entry from 1984 or something, I recruited fellow pop culture experts Joe “Roommate Joe” Reid and Nick Davis. A flurry of emails, one Google spreadsheet, and a few pangs of regret later, we ended up with our final list.
Initially, the committee just nominated every great song we could think of, within the parameters I created (explained below.) After that, we had a series of votes, with top vote-getters advancing to the the next round of contention. Eventually we came up with 52 songs that had three “yes” votes. Then, all three of us selected four “byes:” Songs that automatically made it into the tournament because we really loved them and because sometimes the world is built on favoritism.
* What made a song eligible for the tournament?
I added a few constraints to the tournament in order to limit the number of eligible songs. Otherwise, we would have been debating forever about what to include.
(1) A song must have been released between 1981-2011. (Yes, this eliminates decades of excellent pop, but I figured a 30 year swath was wide enough.)
(2) A song must have reached the Top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100. (Exceptions were made for airplay-only songs that were not eligible to chart in the 90s because of Billboard policy. If a song reached the Top 10 on the airplay chart without appearing on the Hot 100—like “Don’t Speak,” “Torn,” or “Men in Black”—it was deemed eligible.)
(3) A lead artist could only be featured on one entry in the tournament. (Otherwise, the bracket would have, like, 8 Madonna songs and 6 Michael Jackson songs, and that’s not nearly as much fun.)
* What are the divisions in the tournament?
The tournament has four divisions of 16 songs each. They are:
(1) Joy Bomb
(2) Deep Feelings
(3) Rock Warrior
(4) Groove Thang
46 responses so far ↓
1 Kara // Jul 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm
I was feeling alternately homicidal and depressed due to the TERRIBLE weather we’re having (terrible for me means over 90 degrees and humid), but this is cheering me up. Woot!
2 Joslyn // Jul 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm
OMG. So exciting!! I can’t wait for the full bracket to print and fill out.
3 Emily // Jul 21, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Pop Song Death Match! Heyooooo!
4 Mark Blankenship // Jul 21, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Woo-hoo! You guys, it’s going to be so awesome.
5 Stephanie // Jul 21, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Awesome, can’t wait to see the bracket!
6 Jthan // Jul 21, 2011 at 7:52 pm
I am very curious to see where this goes! Ultimate pop song could mean anything, really. The Beatles? Lady Gaga? Does pop include hip hop, dance, electronica, and country crossover? I can’t wait to see what happens!
7 SashaPT // Jul 22, 2011 at 8:10 am
Very fun – can’t wait!
8 Chris // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:11 pm
This is going to be so cool. Can’t wait!
9 Christy Baker // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I looked at the brackets, and I am so excited! I now have an overwhelming desire to scrap all of my plans for the afternoon and play Michael Jackson Wii for the rest of the day. Don’t judge me.
10 Sam M // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm
super excited to see where this leads
11 Rube Goldberg // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:29 pm
So exciting! Question about Game 22: Which “Crazy”? Britney Spears? Seal? Gnarls Barkley? Aerosmith?
If not Britney, it’s surprising that she didn’t make it into the tournament. Will there be an equivalent to the NIT for this?
12 Mark Blankenship // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Hi Rube! It’s the Gnarls Barkley “Crazy.” Britney hung in there for several rounds, but she ultimately didn’t make the final cut.
What’s NIT?
13 par3182 // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm
total eclipse of the heart vs time after time in round one? that’s just cruel
14 Mark Blankenship // Jul 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm
But Par3182… how would we understand joy if we didn’t also understand sorrow?
15 Danny // Jul 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm
“What’s NIT?”
It’s the less prestigious equivalent of the march madness NCAA basketball tournament. Decent teams that didn’t make the big dance compete in the NIT (national invitational tournament? I think?)
This bracket is insane, btw. I can’t wait. Though I’m surprised at NO Britney. Not even Toxic/Oops…/Baby One More Time? (Sorry, don’t mean to be the one to start the “but! But! What about…” comments, but it is pretty surprising.)
16 ferretrick // Jul 22, 2011 at 2:59 pm
You Oughta Know for the win.
17 Kitty // Jul 22, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Can’t wait for Monday! Curious as to how you came up with the song bracket categories?
18 Rube Goldberg // Jul 22, 2011 at 4:00 pm
@Mark – NIT is the second-tier tournament that schools who missed out in March Madness go to. It’s sometimes referred to as the “not invited tournament.” That about exhausts my entire knowledge of basketball.
19 Reyzl // Jul 22, 2011 at 4:02 pm
FYI, for those with Spotify, it has every song except Shoop.
20 Dan Turner // Jul 22, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Game 19: Sober by Tool?
21 Jeff C // Jul 22, 2011 at 4:34 pm
This is going to be fun. Thanks Mark!
Like any good pre-(NCAA basketball) tournament chatter, we’ve got to make our seeding comments:
–a 6-11 match up between “Lost In Your Eyes” and “We Belong”? We know the committee’s affection for “We Belong” and smell favoritism against a weak, weak first round opponent.
–”Since U Been Gone” a 2 seed? “Billy Jean” is a 3 seed!
–Adele an 8 seed over “Hey Ya”, but no Katy Perry?
–I appreciate the recognition of strong late 80′s/early 90′s entries. Massively overlooked time period that happened to coincide with my middle school experience.
(All these are psuedocriticisms meant to echo the annual gnashing and wailing following NCAA Selection Sunday….great job Mark in creating a list no one on this blog would ever be happy with!)
Let’s start the dance, everyone!
22 Mark Blankenship // Jul 22, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Hi everyone! Your comments are already rocking my world, and we haven’t even started. This is going to be amazing.
–
@ Jeff — I like to imagine that you’re delivering those outraged remarks while wearing a sports jersey
@ Rube & Danny — Thanks for clarification on NIT. The only sports I know anything about are the one that only show up on the Olympics
@ Danny — Feel free to make all the “but what about” comments you’d like. Trust me, the Joe, Nick, and I made plenty of them to each other. But what fun would a tournament like this be if there weren’t arguing points? I kind of enjoy my rage that my colleagues on the nominating committee dissed “Take On Me” by a-ha and “Killing Me Softly” by The Fugees
@ Kitty — The division names came after we’d settled on the final 64. Looking at the contenders, I broke them into general themes, then tried to come up with fun names that would suggest Pop, Ballad/Mid-Tempo, Rock, and Hip-Hop/R&B
@ Reyzi — I just got Spotify TODAY
@ Ferretrick — I have a sneaking suspicion that Alanis is going to do well
@ Dan Turner — “Sober” by Pink. Though I like some Tool songs.
23 InfoMofo // Jul 22, 2011 at 8:08 pm
What is this fabulousness? These initial match ups are brutal! How dare you make me choose between Gaga and Dolly??
I LOVE that Independent Women made this! I’m going to listen to that right now. Tubthumping I’m less enthusiastic about, but the BCS is a mysterious beast…
24 Mark Blankenship // Jul 22, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Hi InfoMofo! What is “BCS,” and why is it a mysterious beast? Your abbreviations are too clever for me.
25 InfoMofo // Jul 22, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Sigh I should have realized this was the wrong audience for that joke. The BCS is the mysterious machine that cranks out the rankings for college football, and whenever the brackets come out everyone complains and claims a conspiracy theory and it’s awesome.
26 Roommate Joe // Jul 23, 2011 at 2:52 am
Sorry I haven’t been around for the sports questions, Mark. I’ve been derelict in my duty as Official Tournament Sports Consultant.
27 Alice // Jul 23, 2011 at 5:31 am
I can’t even handle that you have Time After Time against Total Eclipse of the Heart, right up front!
It’s like Sophie’s Choice!!!
28 Mark Blankenship // Jul 23, 2011 at 10:14 am
You guys, check out Monty Ashley’s pregame commentary on the bracket over at Mysterious Exhortations: http://www.mysteriousexhortations.com/?p=884
29 Kara // Jul 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm
There are some tough choices up in here, for real. “I Want it That Way” v. “Heaven is a Place on Earth?” “Crazy in Love” v. “No Diggity?” “Work It” v. “End of the Road?” “Since U Been Gone” v. fucking “What’s Love Got to Do With It??” You’re KILLING ME.
30 Nora // Jul 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I adore “Like a Prayer” like nobody’s business, but I have a full journal abstract on what makes “Higher Love” a force to be reckoned with. Main supporting points include 1) hand claps 2) gospel choir singing “BRANG ME A HIGHER LOVE”
31 Rube Goldberg // Jul 24, 2011 at 12:48 am
@Nora — but “Like a Prayer” also has hand clapping and a gospel choir. How do you break the tie?
I think the discussions about the individual matchups (and the gnashing of teeth when the upsets happen) are going to be friggadiculously awesome. Is it Monday yet?
32 Jessica // Jul 24, 2011 at 2:30 am
No Prince? I assume ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ is Sinead O’Connor’s version.
33 Mark Blankenship // Jul 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Hi Jessica — Oh, The Purple One is there… you’ll find “Kiss” in the Groove Thang division.
34 jessica // Jul 24, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Oh I see, I overlooked that somehow.
35 Emily // Jul 25, 2011 at 9:24 am
“Hot in Herre” only gets a 12 seed?! OUTRAGE!
“Sweet Dreams” vs “Freedom 90″ in the first round?! EVIL!
I’m so excited.
36 Dan Turner // Jul 25, 2011 at 9:30 am
Okay… okay. I didn’t really expect Tool to appear in these choices. Though I like P!nk, I’m not even sure I know that song. But for us people who remember all of the 80′s… no Peter Gabriel? No Sade? No Richard Marx? Okay, you can leave Dickie M off the list, but come on!
37 Mark Blankenship // Jul 25, 2011 at 10:22 am
@ Dan Turner — Oh, you have truly touched on our pain as we whittled down the list to 64. The sweet, delicious pain.
@ Emily — Glad you’re excited!
38 The Ultimate Pop Song Tournament: Games 5 and 6 (Joy Bomb Division) | The Critical Condition // Jul 25, 2011 at 12:05 pm
[...] For complete tournament rules and to see all open games, just go here. [...]
39 Rachel // Jul 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Did “Hold On” almost make the cut? Thought your and Pamie’s version on Extra Hot Great would have been a shoo-in.
40 Robert // Jul 26, 2011 at 12:01 am
Woah! No Britney at all? I mean…Toxic?!?
I like a lot of the choices on the list, and the diversity especially, but omitting B.Spears from any greatest pop list seems a little strange.
41 Mark Blankenship // Jul 26, 2011 at 1:10 am
Hi Robert — Trust me, there were tears over Britney’s absence, but the nominating committee just had to make sacrifices. Terrible, terrible sacrifices.
42 Chris // Jul 27, 2011 at 7:45 pm
LOVE this idea, and brilliantly executed – BUT…
how in G*d’s name can this tournament not include Hungry Like the Wolf and Our Lips Are Sealed? (Sure, the latter would’ve meant ditching Heaven Is a Place on Earth, but in my book that’s an easy trade!)
43 Mark Blankenship // Jul 27, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Hi Chris! Glad you’re having fun. Actually, I’d have allowed a Go-Gos song, on the grounds that the Go-Gos are a different “lead artist” than Belinda alone. (Both Destiny’s Child and Beyonce made it into the final 64.) In fact, “We Got the Beat” and “Hungry Like the Wolf” were both considered by the nominating committee… but fickle beasts that we are, we didn’t vote them through.
44 Chris // Jul 27, 2011 at 10:37 pm
Thanks Mark – this is super fun, even if my old-dude tastes aren’t being fully indulged (and it’s given me the chance to revisit the most awkwardly footage in the history of film and video, aka “Alone”). The writeups are all fun and smart too – nicely curated all around!
45 Chris // Jul 27, 2011 at 10:37 pm
oops, that was meant to be “awkwardly edited”
46 Keith // Jul 28, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Terrific fun, and I’m already hoping for a 50s/60s/70s sequel. Think of the matchups! “Dancing Queen” vs. “Hot Stuff.” The Boone family grudge match of “You Light Up My Life” vs. “Love Letters in the Sand.” And the sheer bracket-making hell of having to pick just one song by the Beatles (or the Supremes, or the Beach Boys, or Stevie Wonder…).
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