The Critical Condition header image 1

AdTastic

Tide: The Detergent of Racial Subversion

September 14th, 2011 · 10 Comments

Given all the neck popping and hand flailing and implied snapping, you might think this Tide commercial perpetuates the stereotype of the “sassy black woman.” But think again. It’s actually a subversive declaration about racial boundaries in America.

The ad is ostensibly about a black woman’s refusal to accept that white jeans go out of season. “I’ll rock white jeans whenever I want,” she declares, rising from a park bench to emphasize her point.

But think about it: She’s saying she’ll wear whiteness. “Not ‘whitish,’ not eggshell, not ecru.” White.

In other words, she will assume a white identity at her leisure. She’ll rock white genes whenever she wants.

For me, “wearing whiteness” means mastering the codes of white culture and performing them in order to access “white privilege.” To prove that privilege can be hers, the woman ends the commercial by saying the word “white” with exaggerated emphasis, hitting the “t” like a professional boxer. It’s like she’s conjuring whiteness, calling it forth from the ether.

And after she says “white,” the woman’s voice changes. Her final line—”That’s my Tide, what’s yours?”—has the chipper affect of a perky Greenwich wife, making her sound so stereotypically white that she could pass for Tipper Gore. In a subtly rebellious touch, she uses the “white voice” to deliver the brand’s tagline.

By flipping on whiteness like a switch, the woman says, “Be careful, white America. Equality’s on the way. The minorities in this country have learned your language and your ways, and we can infiltrate your ranks in ways you’ll never  notice.”

I mean… right? That has to be what Tide intended. Otherwise, this commercial would just be reductive and offensive, and no major brand would release an ad like that.

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Media · Television

AdTastic: Why is this monster driving a Honda Civic?

May 18th, 2011 · 4 Comments

My girl’s name is “Teeny.” At least, that’s what Honda’s official YouTube page tells me. Her name is Teeny, and she’s just a gal on the go in her Honda Civic. Look how much fun she’s having with her friends!

And… oh yeah. She’s also big furry monster… like the cutest little reject from Where the Wild Things Are. (She probably got kicked off Monster Island because instead of obvious emotional issues, she has pink toenails and good taste in pop songs.)

And you know what? It would be easy to hate on Teeny and on Honda’s ad people for bringing her to life. After all, girlfriend is kind of a freak, and it’s not obvious why she would make me want to buy a car. But here’s the thing: Teeny is so weird that she did make me stop fast-forwarding my DVR to see what the hell she was doing in that cute little hoodie.

I’d never stop to look at a car, and since advertisers don’t yet have permission to put big hard cocks on primetime, fashion-forward monsters are pretty much the only thing that will catch my eye as I zoom through a commercial break.

That’s the point of modern commercials, I think… they need to grab viewers who are seeing them on fast-forward. They need to make us slow down and pay attention.

And I’ll say this: After I stopped and watched Teeny, I also became aware of the Honda Civic. This commercial may not directly sell a car, but because it gets my attention, it does build my awareness of Honda’s brand. (It clearly has been grabbing other people, too.)

Ultimately, when it comes to creatures selling cars, I prefer the gangsta smoothness of the Kia Soul hamsters, but I will still give Teeny her props.

Oh, and also… do you think this is why Teeny was jettisoned from the final season of Big Love? Because she turned into a giant monster? If so, then the writers missed a major opportunity, since you know that Nicki would’ve had something to say about that.

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Television

AdTastic: Trivago Will Sex You Up (And Respect You in the Morning)

April 19th, 2011 · 8 Comments

Every now and then, I’ll accidentally watch commercials on TV. Like, I’ll be so mad about a bullshit judgment on Top Chef that I’ll get distracted and forget to fast forward. Then I get even angrier, because the awful specter of Dean Winters as roadkill is added to the image of Mike Isabella’s leering, jerk face.

But sometimes an accidental commercial becomes an unexpected treat. Earlier this week, for instance, I saw this ad for Trivago, a website that helps users comparison shop for hotel rooms:

I like this ad for several reasons…

[Read more →]

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Television

AdTastic: Cheap Soda’s an American Right, Dammit!

April 14th, 2010 · 14 Comments

If you live outside the New York area, then you may not know that there’s currently a small furor erupting over a proposed “soda tax” that would charge one penny per ounce on sugary beverages. Perhaps unsurprisingly, that furor is coming mostly from the beverage industry, which is trying to argue that cheap Mountain Dew is fundamental to America’s values.

Take a look at this commercial, which is basically playing around the clock on local stations. Even if you don’t live in a community that could be affected by the soda tax, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the hysteria bubbling just beneath this ad…

I mean… right? It’s like a primer on how to create a biased political commercial. Let’s break down its tactics one by one… [Read more →]

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Television

AdTastic!: I Want a Nacho Belly and an Oatmeal Jet Pack

January 29th, 2010 · No Comments

Many thanks to my friend Kerri for directing me to this story about the 10 Most-Recalled Television ads of 2009, meaning the ads that viewers were most likely to remember within twenty-four hours of seeing them. The data comes from Nielsen,  but the tackiness comes from the people.

To paraphrase Kerri,  the descriptions of the ads tell us everything we need to know about society.

This is AdAge’s Top Most Recalled TV spots of 2009. I think the descriptions of the spots say just about everything one needs to know about American culture.

1
Budweiser
Clydesdale travels to find Daisy (:60). 259
2
Budweiser
Clydesdale fetches a large tree branch (:30). 252
3
Burger King
Burger Shots; women gather and ask to squeeze burgers (:15). 250
4
Doritos
Man throws snow globe into vending machine (:30). 247
5
Taco Bell
Man at ballgame has fake pregnant stomach concealing nachos (:15). 239
6
GoDaddy.com
Friends in dorm room watch Danica Patrick take shower (:30). 233
7
Quaker
People fly in sky with oatmeal jet packs (:15) . 229
8
Febreze
Mother tells son his room stinks and needs to be washed (:15). 228
9
Progressive
Flo shows customer Dave his own aisle (:30). 223
10
McDonald’s
Monopoly Million Dollar Dice Roll for Andrew M. (:30).

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Media

AdTastic: Bad Mariah! Bad!

November 4th, 2009 · 7 Comments

mariahatandt5

The first time I saw this ad for AT&T Wireless, I mostly noticed the actor playing the concierge in the first scene. At first, I was like, “Is that Ty Burrell, star of the rock-awesome series Modern Family?” Then I thought, “No… wait… it’s David Pittu, Tony nominee and all-around excellent actor. Good for him!”

I doubt this ad was designed to make me think about David Pittu, but that’s not the only way it goes off message.

[Read more →]

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Television

AdTastic: The Accidental Tool

October 7th, 2009 · 2 Comments

I don’t think this is quite the message this CEO intendend to send, do you?

photo

*Found near the back of this week’s New Yorker

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Media

AdTastic: These Bunnies are so Cute I Could Collapse

October 5th, 2009 · 10 Comments

I can’t bear the thought of any Critical Condition readers missing this commercial for the New York Lottery’s Sweet Million game, so I’m embedding it below. Is it genius? Madness? You decide…

Pardon me. I think I just passed out. When that little bunny in overalls fell over after getting his picture taken in front of his “prize cow” (who was really a bunny in a cow costume), I went into some kind of cuteness overload.

See… here’s the thing. I have an uncontrollable weakness for baby animals. Am I grown man? Yes. Do I consider myself  discerning? Yes. Does a teeny-tiny bunny going down a slide on a burlap sack make me collapse with squealing hysteria? Yes, yes, yes.

happy feetNormally, I’m embarrassed by this. Do you remember the ads for Happy Feet? I knew I was being manipulated by them, so every time I went crazy for that adorable little penguin (see right), I also kicked myself.

Similarly, when I get stressed, I sometimes watch videos of cute kittens on YouTube. I don’t think it makes me cool,  but I do it. And it works.

The commercial for Sweet Million seems to understand my predicament. On one level, it shamelessly indulges my taste for wee creatures in cute situations. On another, however, it strokes my ego. By pushing the cuteness needle so far, by giving me bunnies at a freaking fairground, the ad implicitly tells me that I am too clever to be duped by Madison Avenue stunts. It says I’m too hip for advertising that tries to disguise its manipulative aims, so rather than trying to trick me, it’s going to pluck my heartstrings as bluntly as possible. It’s like the ad is saying, “Aren’t I a stinker?” And then maybe it puts its hands behind its back and  twists its foot in the dirt.

Then I can say, “Oh, that rascally ad! I can’t be mad at it for exploiting me! It’s just doing its job!” Then I can coo over the bunnies and feel weirdly loving toward the Sweet Million campaign, yet I can feel like that’s a sophisticated response. Because I’m aware I’m being played, I can chuck the ad on the chin, even as I fall for its tricks.

Man. I feel like I’m in a Br’er Rabbit fable. Is anybody else getting sucked in?

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Television

AdTastic: Do Cats Need Appetizers?

October 1st, 2009 · 7 Comments

fancy-feast-appetizer

Look, I am a total cat person. Cats are the only pets I’ve ever had, and when I was growing up, my family always gave them Christmas presents.

But there have to be limits. As much as our pets feel like family members, they are not actually people. They don’t have opinions about the color of the sweaters we force them into. They can’t follow the plot of the stories we tell them about our day. And they damn sure can’t differentiate between an appetizer and a main course.

Fancy Feast wants us to think they can, however. It has just launched a new line of gourmet cat food called Fancy Feast Appetizers, which means that for $1.29 a pop, you can feed your kitten 2 ounces of flaked skipjack tuna, steamed tilapia, or white meat chicken and shredded beef. And that’s before she dives into the main course of, I don’t know, boeuf bourguignon or the rodent she decapitated in the field behind your subdivision.

(more on this appetizer business…)

[Read more →]

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Media

AdTastic: Yahoo Wants YOU

September 29th, 2009 · 4 Comments

yahoo_56443t

Over the next year, Yahoo! is spending $100 million (!!) to boost its image around the world. Apparently, they want to revive their brand in countries like the U.S., and they want to gain traction for the first time in other parts of the world.

Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but personally, I think of Yahoo! as a search engine, a place to sign up for instant messaging, and the home of two fantastic pop music columns….

Okay… a quick surf just reminded me that Yahoo! also hosts Flickr. But whatever. Of all the things I listed, the music columns are the only ones I actually utilize on a regular basis.

I guess this makes me the prime target for the Yahoo’s branding revitalization. After the jump, you can see the first commercial that supposed to get me hollerin’. Will it work?

[Read more →]

Listen up ya’ll it’s AdTastic · Media