Please welcome Holly Cara Price for another edition of The Price Point. Today, she’s taking a look at the controversy surrounding Obama’s speech for classroom students, which seems to be drawing fewer angry reactions now that the text has been posted online.

I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts on this whole kerfuffle. For my part, I’ll say I pretty much agree with Holly.

The Price Point: Back to School

By Holly Cara Price

Tuesday, September 8th, at noon Eastern Standard Time, President Barack Obama will, according to Glenn Beck and his minions, jump start the apocalypse by giving an eighteen-minute speech to American school children between the ages of 5 and 18. According to the White House, the President will “urge students to take personal responsibility for their own education, to set goals, and to not only stay in school but make the most of it.”

To inject a little historical accuracy into this brouhaha, the last time a U.S. President took time out to directly address our nation’s schoolchildren was eighteen years ago. That speech took place on October 1, 1991 and was broadcast live on CNN, PBS, and NBC Radio. Bush 41 spoke about the importance of education: “I know you’ve heard about stanines and percentiles, surveys and statistics, but here’s what all that fancy talk really means: Education means the difference between a good future and a lousy one.” Somehow, I rather doubt that left wing segments of the population threatened to not make this speech available to entire school districts.

By the hue and cry visited upon this announcement from certain segments of the population (in other words, those citizens who wanted to see John McCain in the Oval Office accompanied by Sarah Pitbull-Lipstick Palin as his second in command), you might think Obama was inserting secret code into this speech that aims to turn our children into godless Communists and socialists. I mean, in case you didn’t know, it’s turned into a complete shit storm. Parents are threatening to keep their children home so they don’t get “indoctrinated.” Mark Steyn of the National Review said on Rush Limbaugh’s show that the address was an attempt to extend Obama’s “cult of personality.” School districts in six states (Texas, Illinois, Virginia, Wisconsin, Missouri and Minnesota) intend to not let their students watch the President’s address.

Jim Greer, the Chairman of the Florida Republican Party, stated, “As the father of four children, I am absolutely appalled that taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama’s socialist ideology. The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power.” Greer also said that “this White House has been very diabolical in creating outlets to communicate with young people.”

The White House released the text of Obama’s speech earlier today and you can read the entire thing here. Sprinkled with pop culture references and stories of success against all odds, the punchline is stay in school – and you’ll change your life for the better. It’s nothing new. It’s nothing controversial. Call me crazy, but I think there’s a number of deluded people in this country who just cannot get over the fact that our President, who was democratically elected last year, is Barack Obama. A man of mixed race – brought up by a single parent – who went to Harvard – who married a black woman who also went to Harvard – a man who is capable, smart, and well-educated. Add one black President to those evil left wing Democrats who want to steal your individuality and let big government run everything and poof! you’ve got bona-fide controversy. Keep that guy away from the kids. They might learn that, if they stay in school and get good grades, they might end up like he did – changing the world.

The Price Point

By Holly Cara Price, Agent Provocateur and Head Snoop at Snoop* du Jour

Perhaps you did not know that on June 2, Paris Hilton got up, dusted herself off, and marched bravely back into Reality Show Wacko World for Season 2 of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. I understand. It’s been a busy summer, and we’re not even halfway through it.

All the gory, fascinating details of the Paris Hilton Franchise… after the jump

It’s been said that Paris Whitney Hilton is famous for being famous, and that she has fiendishly leveraged that ubiquity to get work as a model, actress, author, fashion designer, and singer.

Yes, ahem, well. Whatever we may call her, Paris is mostly a franchise, and the product she’s selling is proximity to her own crazy self.

Do you think Brittany Flickinger, her BFF from season one, thought she was entering a lasting relationship, or do you think she realized she was getting a temporary lease from Paris Friendship, Incorporated? Either way, just a few months after Flickinger won, she and Paris were through. Paris later told the press “I loved her, and I trusted her, but sometimes people get too caught up and they change.”

Right. Or perhaps another season loomed, so it was time to choose a new BFF all over again. Meanwhile, the show was picked up internationally, meaning Paris’ franchise is sweeping the world like McDonald’s. Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend premiered in January of this year, and she’s currently working on Paris Hilton’s Dubai BFF (see photo). Production on this version began last month, and the empire continues to grow, Tyra Banks style, with Russian, Australian, German, and Canadian
BFF shows in the early planning stages.

But why does this franchise succeed?  Well, it certainly fits into my favorite category of reality shows: It’s so unbelievably gross and weird, you can’t stop watching it. Just try it – I double dog dare you. It’s on MTV every Tuesday night at 10pm and is repeated ad nauseam during the week. This season started with 13 girls and a gay boy living together in a big mansion, the walls of which are liberally covered with huge arty photos of you know who. Every week, contestants suffer through a challenge (pole dancing, hosting a dinner party for PH’s family and friends, spending a night in jail, getting out of a car in a short skirt), and the loser of the week is sent home with a wave and a TTYN from Paris (as in “talk to you never” – duh!).

Paris also chooses a “pet” every week, and this person is made to dish on all the other housemates. Meanwhile, she’s now got a permanent pet in Onch, the androgynous girlboy who was one of last season’s contestants. He flits around telling the BFF hopefuls where they are going each week and what they’re doing.

This season has already had a number of notable moments. In episode one, Paris went undercover as one of the contestants so she could see how they conducted themselves without her there. In week 3, when one of the contestants (Katie) was eliminated for not looking good enough on the red carpet, she went apeshit and started swearing like a truckdriver at Paris. In week 5, the posse was awakened by police officers, thrown into a bus, and taken to prison, so they could see how their idol suffered during her brief 2007 prison term for a DUI. This was the most Fellini-esque episode, as the kids were made to wear pink silk pajamas in their cells, perform a triathalon in bikinis, and endure comments from the rap group Three 6 Mafia, who weighed in on the elimination as special guests.

And there was another week, I forget which one, where Paris sent someone home because her dog Tinkberbell snarled at them.

Just remember: You may be out of a job, broke, and homeless. You may have just broken up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Odds are several billion to one, however, that you’re not one of the reality show losers who has signed up to embarrass themselves in front of the world as a contestant on this show. So count your blessings and have a good weekend.

This week in The Price Point, Holly Cara Price takes a look at the Michael Jackson Aftermath, and she discovers how mourning the star has become its own business.

The Price Point ~ by Holly Cara Price, Agent Provocateur and Head Snoop at Snoop* du Jour

Here’s a recipe for you. Take one aging celebrity, mix in a hefty scoop of childhood mistreatment, add a few dozen helpings of bad publicity for charges of pedophilia and just plain bizarre behavior, add a lethal cocktail of dangerous prescription drugs, plus the loss of billions of dollars due to years of mismanagement and serve over a lifestyle most of us could never even dream of. There’s really only one way out of that mess, and it happened last week to Michael Joseph Jackson: Death.

For most of his short, anguished time on earth he was larger than life, but in death MJ seems to have eclipsed all other dead celebs (okay, except for, um, Jesus) for sheer marketability and money-making ability. And talk about a TV ratings bonanza; holy mamasay-mamasah, the whole world stopped to make room for the breaking news of Jackson’s death last Thursday, June 25th. Iran? Forgotten. Mark Sanford? Luckiest guy in the world, apparently. Recession? Snore. New Iphone? Whatever. Perhaps you remember that for a few minutes, right before MJ was rushed to the hospital, the world had been transfixed by the cellphone video of 26 year old Neda Soltani, killed in living color during a protest in Tehran. The stunning video of Neda’s death made the situation in Iran immediate and present to us; it made it real. Such is the power of the internet, which transcends all media, making it immediate in every sense.

MJ needed no such boost to make his death relevant to the world. Love him, hate him, you can’t help but acknowledge that he changed the world of music forever. But watching the carrion circling him now is horrific. I worry most about the three children, who have just inherited the biggest therapy bills known to humankind (although possibly, eventually, also the biggest book deals of all time). Their lives up to now must have set new standards for weirdness; what’s incredibly sad is that that was nothing compared to their future.

Jermaine told NBC News, in tears, that he wishes it had been him who died instead of Michael, and Debbie Rowe has suddenly declared she wants the two kids she gave birth to, after saying just the opposite a few days ago. Way to go, Deb. Break up a family that’s just lost their father. She’s obviously ripe for a reality show. Maybe she can get signed on to the Octomom’s TV deal or something equally tasteless.

It’s now clear that Jackson’s money-making abilities are, if anything, even more pronounced after his death (it’s the Kurt Cobain / Anna Nicole Smith / Elvis Presley / Heath Ledger syndrome). Downloads of Jackson’s music set a new standard for internet music sales in the past week. News of his death nearly brought down the largest and most robust media sites on the web.

And this is only the first week, people. This story will go on forever. There will always be someone else crawling out of the woodwork saying they sat next to him in second grade or something along those lines. Any unreleased audio and video material will be doled out to the public, who are exhibiting an insatiable appetite for anything related to MJ.

My favorite comment yet about this circus comes from Rush Limbaugh, who said on his radio show: “Michael Jackson’s biggest successes took place in the 80’s . . . he flourished under Reagan, he languished under Clinton/Bush, and died under Obama . . . I mean, facts are facts, a timeline’s a timeline . . .”

Death. It’s a whole new media strategy for success. The only problem is, you’re not around to enjoy the spoils.

Despite the hubbub caused by major celebrity deaths, Holly Cara Price noticed his passing, and in this week’s Price Point, she’ll tell us why we should notice it, too.

Take it away, Holly…

The Price Point ~ by Holly Cara Price, Agent Provocateur

Yesterday morning,  it was announced that Sky Saxon, lead singer and founder of the 1960s garage rock band The Seeds, died at St. David’s Hospital in Austin, Texas. Saxon became ill last week and was admitted to the hospital on Monday with an infection. He performed as recently as this past Saturday, when he jammed with the local band Shapes Have Fangs at the Austin club Antone’s.

Saxon was born Richard Marsh in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s not known exactly when he was born. It may have been as early as 1937 or as late as 1946. As Little Richie Marsh, Saxon performed doo-wop songs in the early 60s. After changing his name to Sky Saxon, he formed the Seeds in 1965 with Jan Savage on guitar, Daryl Hooper on keyboards, and Rick Andridge on drums.

The band had a top 40 hit in 1966 with “Pushin’ Too Hard.” Their sound was simple, spare, but brilliant, flavored with brief-but-tasty keyboard and guitar solos. They totally owned the perfect, snarling, garage-punk attitude.

Saxon broke up the band in 1970 when he joined a spiritual community and adopted the name “Sunlight.” Recently, he kept a low profile, selling music through his website and occasionally performing.

And because he wasn’t the King of Pop of one of Charlie’s angels, his name is  not in the news. The networks aren’t frantically going through their archives looking for any footage of him they can find. Newscasters aren’t walking around the streets interviewing people to discuss their feelings about him.

That’s why I want to toast his memory.

To quote Sky Saxon and Daryl Hooper from “Pushin’ Too Hard”:

Well all I want is to just be free,
Live my life the way I wanna be,
All I want is to just have fun,
Live my life like it’s just begun.

Check out this clip of the band performing “Pushin’ Too Hard” on the TV show Shebang:

They’re quite obviously lip synching and not even trying to hide it. Sky’s wearing silver pants and a really pissed-off teenage face. Dig that keyboard solo and the cowpunk guitar bridge. Catch those threads on the drummer. And enjoy the bit at the end where the host briefly interviews Sky, and it’s like Dueling Haircuts: The 50’s vs. The 60’s.

Here they are performing “Pushin’ Too Hard” on the TV series The Mothers-In-Law in 1967. Apparently, they landed right smack in squaresville. Note the expressions on the faces of the adults (Eve Arden, Kaye Ballard and husbands) while the band doesn’t even attempt to lip synch. Sky leaps around spastically while wearing a weird serape cape, and the drummer is in a Dracula outfit. Of course, the teen girl on the premises is doing the frug or some such thing. Hilarious.

And finally, witness the beautiful Bettie Page (the Nortorious) as she swishily strip-dances to the Seeds’ “Can’t Seem to Make You Mine.” It’s one of their rare ballads and quite beautiful.

And remember Sky Sunlight Saxon on this day.

By Holly Cara Price

This week, the recent War of the Words between Sarah Palin and David Letterman is the subject of my ire. I mean, seriously, Sarah! As far as I’m concerned, as to the matter of her family being fair game for pundits and late night talk show hosts, the Thrilla from Wasilla gave up all rights to the universe for all time when she stepped out into the national spotlight at last year’s Republic National Convention.  

I’m sure you’ll recall that night when we first saw Alaska’s Chief Executive on the RNC stage. She was all tricked out in her nicey-nice vice-president-elect outfit and her fire engine red high heels (see above), with cute husband and family in tow. Yes, family in tow, in their entirety – including unmarried, pregnant teenage daughter Bristol and infant son Trig, a Down Syndrome baby.  

To my mind, the moment Palin dragged that baby out into the bright lights and loud noises and germfest free-for-all of the RNC—making him a political football that she could parlay in her so-called crusade for special needs children—all bets were off. If he had been a healthy baby boy, then he would have been sleeping in the hotel with a babysitter watching over him, not getting paraded in front of the world. N’est-ce pas? 
 
To recap: two weeks ago, Letterman cracked a joke about Palin attending a baseball game. “One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game: During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” The shitstorm began shortly thereafter, as the Palinator accused Letterman of promoting the rape of underage girls. He had, of course, been referring to Bristol, the unwed young mother, now of legal age. But Palin had been at the game with her younger daughter, Willow, now 14, so she chose to believe Letterman was referring to Willow in his joke. 

Media madness ensued. Showbiz Tonight called it the Sarah Palin-David Letterman Smackdown. Even the National Organization for Women backed Palin in her outrage, which is pretty amazing considering she is the opposite of everything they stand for. And Letterman apologized on-air. Not once. Twice. There was even a “Fire David Letterman” rally outside his studio at the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Fully forty people showed up. 

The last time I checked, there was a First Amendment that guarantees our rights to freedom of speech, and that seems to cover nutjobs like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly (who have been accused of everything from encouraging people to vote across party lines to sway elections in their favor, to encouraging right-wing violent actions like the recent murder of Dr. George Tiller). But somehow, Sarah Palin believes it does not cover late night talk show hosts like David Letterman, and she’s willing to try to raise a national debate about how he hates women and young girls. 

The Price Point’s final word on the matter: Pot. Calls. Kettle. Black.

Yo, everyone. Mark here. Until next Tuesday, I’ll be on vacation in Key West and Miami, where my activities will include attending a wedding that’s being taped for a reality show on the Style Channel. They tell me the nuptials will prominently feature a pop song I co-wrote called “Sugar Rush.” I’ll keep you posted.

Things are going to be quiet around here for a few days, but before I go, I’m thrilled to turn the reins back over to Holly Cara Price, who’s here with the latest installment of The Price Point. This week, Holly can’t stop thinking about Jon and Kate Plus 8, and she’s about to tell you why…

The Price Point ~ by Holly Cara Price, Agent Provocateur

Lots of news, lots of news, people! New Supreme Court Justice! Health Care Firefight on the Hill! Bret Michaels breaks his nose at the Tonys! Speidi leaves Costa Rica! But what continues to dominate the headlines? And the tabloids? And every media outlet that currently exists? Why, it’s the brouhaha surrounding Jon and Kate Gosselin and their pitiful reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. Which celebrated its 100^th episode this Monday, June 8.  (“‘Plus 8′ on 6/8! Angels sing!” — Mark)

Until a couple of weeks ago, I had never seen the show, but when a story gets all up in my grill like this one has, I figure it’s time to see what the fuss is about. And if you surf to TLC, as I did, you’ll see that there is precious little on the channel besides Jon & Kate marathons these days. Because The Learning Channel (shame on them) wants to learn about about how a marriage can crumble when the cameras never stop filming..

To make a very long story short: Jon & Kate Gosselin were just your ordinary married couple in a very ordinary town in Eastern Pennsylvania. The Gosselins took fertility drugs and voila, they gave birth to a pair of fraternal twin girls. A few years later they took some more drugs and Kate delivered fraternal sextuplets – three boys, three girls. A TV special called Surviving Sextuplets and Twins was made about them, people dug it, and next thing you know, a reality TV phenomenon was born (bad choice of words, perhaps).

So now it’s four seasons later, and all kinds of wackiness is ensuing. Jon’s having an affair with a schoolteacher (“Really? I thought that was an ‘alleged’ affair.” — Mark). Kate’s sleeping with her bodyguard. The kids are acting out. Craziness.

Meanwhile, just imagine what it’s like to have eight small children in your house. No matter how much space you have, you’re going to feel cramped. And the worse things get for J&K’s marriage, the higher the ratings get for their show. It’s like we have a hunger to eat their ridiculous lives like a big ol’ McFlurry with M&M’s.

But why is that? Is it that we love to see people worse off than ourselves? With a national unemployment rate of 9.4 percent, do we need to bring on that televised misery?

As for the Gosselins, you’d think by the time they inked their TV deal with TLC, they’d have learned from Jessica and Nick (or Britney and Kevin, or Pat and Bill Loud) that marriages rarely survive the arrival of a mistress as tawdry as a television camera.

Welcome to The Price Point! Every week, media expert Holly Cara Price, who does everything from research television projects to run this sexy website, will analyze the corner of the entertainment universe that is most consuming her.

For her first installment, Holly’s tackling subject that we love to discuss here at The Critical Condition: Advertising. Take it away!

The Price Point ~ by Holly Cara Price, Agent Provocateur

Two TV ads have been sticking in my craw lately – constant use of DVR notwithstanding – and ironically, both of them are for products made by Apple Computer. That says a couple of things about the company: They consistently hire great advertising firms that know how to make compelling ads, and their plan is to eventually take over the world.

By the by,  I have no doubt that the vast world of television advertising, as it feels its grip on our TV  screens slipping away, is currently developing a way to read our thoughts and,  using algorithms, broadcast ads directly to us in the air above our heads. Think me wrong on this? Check back in ten years.

(1) I’m A Mac. I’m A PC.

Well, I have to say I always make a point to view the latest ads in this series because they engage me. Note the most recent one, where a girl tells the PC guy what she wants and doesn’t want in her new computer. Of course, the PC can’t meet any of her specs and she’s left with the cute Mac guy – who is always uncomplicated, casually dressed, calm. Nothing ruffles him. Everything’s under control. He’s kind of the Obama to PC’s John McCain. The PC guy is older, overweight, overdressed, wearing a suit and tie. The implication is that he comes with a lot of baggage, emotional and otherwise. The PC is rife with viruses and updates and problems. You can never get customer care on the phone. Who would want one? These ads almost break things down to a math problem – do you want life to be easy or hard?

(2) There’s An App For That.

Gotta admit, although I have no desire for an iPhone, these commercials are very appealing. The beautiful notion that a cellphone can solve all your problems, no matter what they may be –snow conditions for skiing, how many calories are in your lunch, where did you park the car – is sexy and very 2009. As time goes by, products have to get faster and better all the time, or we’re moving on to the next thing. Our attention span shrinks exponentially with each passing moment, thanks in no small part to the way media is edited with quick cuts, for which I say, thank you MTV in the 80’s.

As a bonus, the potential parodies of this ad are endless. Want to break up with your girlfriend? There’s an app for that. Want to adopt a baby? There’s an app for that. Want to buy a handgun? There’s an app for that.