The eligibility period for the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards ends on September 30, with nominations announced on December 1.  My guess is that we’ve already heard everything that’s going to get nominated, so with my trademark insouciance, I’m going to predict some of the nominees right now! Hahahaha!

Aren’t I impish?

Today, I’ll soothsay for Record and Song of the Year, but don’t miss my early predictions for Best New Artist.

NOTE: Record of the Year is an award for a song’s performer(s) and producer(s), and Song of the Year is an award for the songwriter(s).

Definitely Happening: Record AND Song of the Year

* “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum

Mark my words: Lady Antebellum’s hit will not only be nominated for both Record and Song of the Year, but also will win at least one of those awards. This song has everything Grammy loves: It’s well-written, it uses real instruments and unprocessed vocals, it doesn’t rely on dance beats, and it doesn’t have any rapping in it. Plus, it was a legitimate crossover smash, reaching well outside the country music niche, which means lots of voters have heard it. And while it’s not necessarily my favorite song—I find Lady Antebellum kind of bland—I certainly recognize that it’s good.

* “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga

There’s a reason the video for “Bad Romance” has become the most-viewed clip in YouTube’s history. Well… okay. Two reasons. One is that the video is great, but the other is that the song itself is so freaking phenomenal. I mean, right? This may be her best single to date. If nothing else, it doesn’t sound like anything else on the radio, thanks to its complicated structure and thundering bass, and since Gaga was nominated for Album, Record, and Song of the Year last year, I assume that the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS) will tip its hat to her again. Once you’re in the Grammy club, you stay in, even if your work is questionable (hello, Sting, Paul McCartney, and Sheryl Crow!) So for a worthy track like “Bad Romance,” the nominations are a no-brainer. Look for recognition in both categories.

Almost Certainly Happening (Record and Song of the Year)

* “Hey Soul Sister” by Train

Gotta love a comeback, right? Train won two Grammys for its previous big hit, 2001′s “Drops of Jupiter,” so don’t be surprised if they get on the list for this unavoidable earworm.

Almost Certainly Happening (Record of the Year)

* “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys

Only one rap song, the sample-free “Jesus Walks,” has even been nominated for Song of the Year, so don’t expect any hip-hop in the songwriters’ category. (But that makes sense… samples were written by other people.)

However, Record of the Year almost always has a rap ditty (though none has ever won the trophy.) This time, my money’s on “Empire State of Mind.” At its core, it’s a singalong, up-with-America anthem, and who are we to resist that?

I can’t, however, list this song as a definite nominee because of a possible dark horse that I’ll mention below.

Almost Certainly Happening (Song of the Year)

* Some random track by Corinne Bailey Ray

In 2008, Ray got a Song of the Year nomination for “Like a Star.” You know! “Like A Star!” That song that sounds like… oh.. the one with the bridge and the…

Okay. No one has heard “Like a Star,” so the SOTY nomination only underscores how much the Academy looooves Corinne Bailey Ray. Since her new album The Sea deals with the aftermath of her husband’s unexpected death, they’ll probably feel duty-bound to notice her again. Besides, it won’t be a Grammy season unless some random-ass track gets nominated in a major category. Do you know what won Song of the Year in 2006 ? ”Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” by U2. What? Exactly.

Possibly Happening (Record and Song of the Year)

* “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars

It’s more likely to turn up in Song of the Year, since Bruno Mars’ big thing is that he’s a singer-songwriter in hip-hop clothes, but “Just the Way You Are” could sail into both categories.

* “Bulletproof” by La Roux

It’s a great track that sounds like something from the 80s… which means it can appeal to people who like it now and people who would have liked it then.

Possibly Happening (Record of the Year)

* “Love the Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna

This could be the dark horse that knocks Jay-Z and Alicia Keys out of the race. (I don’t think there’s room in this category for two rap songs.) Both tracks feature A-list rappers and massive hooks performed by A-list divas. If the Academy decides it prefers dark tales of domestic violence—or if it simply prefers the song that’s still on the radio—then Em and RiRi could take the nomination.

* “California Gurls” by Katy Perry

I don’t love this song—or even like it, really—but since Katy Perry (a) wrote it herself and (b) cannot be escaped at the moment, she may well appear on the shortlist.

Possibly Happening (Song of the Year)

* “Stuck Like Glue” by Sugarland

Even when they don’t get nominated for Record of the Year, country songs do well in this category, since the genre is still considered a songwriter’s playground. Since 2005, “Before He Cheats,” “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” “Bless This Broken Road,” “Not Ready to Make Nice,” “Live Like You Were Dying,” and “You Belong With Me” have all made it onto this list, and of those, only “Not Ready to Make Nice” and “You Belong With Me” were also tapped for Record of the Year.

I’m guessing that “Need You Now” will feel “bigger than country,” leaving room for another, more genre-confined track to be nominated. And if another Nashville record is going to make it, then it ought to be “Stuck Like Glue,” which is sunny, sassy, and catchy as hell. Plus, it’s by Sugarland, whom a lot of people in the industry seem to love and who already have multiple Grammys at home.

Not Happening (Record and Song of the Year)

* “Mine” by Taylor Swift

Yes, she won Album of the Year last year, and she’s still a pop culture phenomenon. However, “Mine” sounds so much like “Love Story” that I can’t tell them apart on the radio, and Lady Antebellum has just as much country crossover attention these days. Therfore, Swift will probably have to content herself with some genre-specific nominations… and the fact that she’s one of the best-selling artists in contemporary music.

The eligibility period for the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards ends on September 30, with nominations announced on December 1.  My guess is that we’ve already heard everything that’s going to get nominated, so with my trademark insouciance, I’m going to predict some of the nominees right now! Hahahaha!

Aren’t I impish?

First, I’ll tackle Best New Artist. (And I’ll slightly modify Roommate Joe’s approach to  predicting the Emmy nominees.)

Definitely Happening

* Drake

After its rulebook made Lady Gaga inelgibile for this award last year, the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS) changed its game. Now, artists who have been nominated for Grammys (but not won) in previous years are still eligible for this award in the year that they rise to prominence.

That sounds a little contradictory—shouldn’t your rise to prominence be the year that you get your first Grammy nomination?—but it allows for common sense judgment calls. Yes, Gaga was nominated for Best Dance Recording in 2008, because that’s when “Just Dance” was tearing up the clubs, but obviously, 2009 was the year she became a big deal. Similarly, Drake made a few waves before last September, but this has really been the year that’s he taken off.

And what a take-off it’s been. He’s had a squlllion hit singles, a popular EP, and a million-selling album. Better still, he’s a great rapper/singer. There’s no way the Grammys will overlook him.

* Bruno Mars

Sure, Bruno Mars has only released one solo single, but it’s “Just the Way You Are,” which is one of the best records of the year.Plus, Mars provided the memorable hooks for B.o.B.’s “Nothin’ on You” and Travie McCoy’s “Billionaire,” and he co-wrote and co-produced Cee Lo’s delicious “Fuck You.”

In other words, this guy is the total package: He can write, sing, and produce songs that are melodic enough to appeal to older listeners and hip enough to appeal to kids. If he doesn’t get a Best New Artist nomination, then I will be shocked.

Almost certainly happening

* B.o.B.

I’ve written about B.o.B. several times this year, and I’m still  as enthusiastic about him as I was back in February. His latest top ten hit, “Magic,” is just as excellent as his previous smashes “Nothin’ On You” and “Airplanes,” and I think the Academy will honor him that. It’s not easy to create music that feels familiar without being stale.

It’s possible, though, that Best New Artist won’t have room for three men who make hip-hop/R&B/pop music, and if someone has to go,  then it’s most likely B.o.B., if only because he hasn’t had a hit without a featured artist. That could make some people feel he needs too much help to stand out.

* Mumford & Sons

In the last few weeks, Mumford & Sons’ album Sigh No More, which I praised earlier this year, has stormed into the top twenty, suggesting that the people are finally waking up to the band’s excellence. Since this awakening coincides with the mailing of Grammy ballots, I’m wagering the band will get the indie rock slot in this category. However, they may be a little too indie to make the cut.

* Janelle Monae

Monae’s album The ArchAndroid is one of the best R&B collections in recent memor. She could appeal to both R&B traditionalists and people who wish that Lauryn Hill wasn’t crazy. And like Drake, Monae is a previous Grammy nominee (for a single from her 2007 EP) She may get lost in the pack, simply because she didn’t have a smash hit, but I doubt it.

Possibly happening

* La Roux

They’ve only had one hit (“Bulletproof”), but their super-cool, 80s-throwback sound could push them into the race.

* Jerrod Niemann OR The Band Perry

There’s almost always a country artist in this category, and these two are the likeliest candidates.

Niemann had a number one hit with “Lover, Lover,” a fantastic, roots-rock stomper. However, it’s a remake of Sonia Dada’s “You Don’t Treat Me No Good,” and breaking through with someone else’s song may be a liability.

On the other hand, The Band Perry hasn’t quite had a smash, but they’ve had two minor hits (“Hip to My Heart” and “If I Die Young”) that they wrote themselves. Plus, “If I Die Young” is fascinating: It’s got a beautiful melody, but it’s about a teenage girl who seems to praying for death. That contradiction makes the track stand out on country radio, and it could get Grammy’s attention as well. Frankly, I think The Band Perry really deserves the nomination—”If I Die Young” has become one of my favorite songs of the year—so I’m hoping they can overcome their low profile.

Not Happening

*Ke$ha

Yes, Ke$ha’s been ubiquitous this year, and yes, she turned out “My Love Is Your Drug,” which is a fantastic song. But her other songs are just too polarizing. I mean, “TiK ToK” is an earworm, but it’s not good, and since it celebrates wanton debauchery, it’s practically designed to make parents shriek in horror. Meanwhile, Ke$ha’s public persona makes her seem like a trashy moron, not a Grammy-worthy artist. Since the Academy didn’t nominate Katy Perry in this category, I really don’t think they’re going to nominate Drunk Katy Perry.

Strangely, this song has never taken off, but I guess the world doesn’t need Labor Day anthems the way it needs graduation songs and wedding hits.

By DOUG STRASSLER

Happy Friday! What do you say to a collection of Forget-Me-Nots? As always, these are singles that for whatever reason, only left a temporary imprint on the culture.

Today’s group has a theme: divas of rhythm and blues. Whether you’re re-discovering a forgotten song or listening to one for the first time, give them a whirl!

(1) “Get Here,” Oleta Adams

This soaring ballad strikes the right note for anyone who misses a loved one and wants them to return home. Released in 1990, it connected with the culture after the deployment of troops with Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm. Though it’s become Oleta’s signature song (earning her a Grammy nom), it was actually penned and originally sung by….

(2) “Piano in the Dark,” Brenda Russell

… Brenda Russell, who’s actually much better-known for this sultry, ivory-tickling classic from 1988, which peaked at #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 and scored three Grammy nominations, including Song of the Year. Fun fact #1: Russell went on to write the music for the Broadway adaptation of The Color Purple. Fun fact #2: Joe Esposito, who sings backing vocals, also did the song “You’re the Best” in The Karate Kid.

(3) “Another Sad Love Song,” Toni Braxton

Though she’d already had a minor hit with “Love Shoulda Brought You Home” (from the Boomerang soundtrack), this torchy number is what really introduced Braxton, pixie cut and all, to a mass audience. It also garnered the singer her first-ever Grammy Award, for the Best R&B Female Vocal Performance, and largely helped her win Best New Artist. “Breathe Again,” “You’re Makin’ Me High,” and “Un-Break My Heart” may be more popular, but this one is the real thing.
< em>(The Boomerang soundtrack was one of the first two CDs I ever owned, along with R.E.M.’s Document. Therefore, Toni Braxton will always have a special place in my heart — Mark)

(4) “Come In Out of the Rain,” Wendy Moten

Moten had a brief run, including a lot of soundtrack work, in the early 1990s before mainly finding work as a back-up singer for artists like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. But I’ve always remembered this 1993 gem, partially for the semi-ludicrous lyrics. The singer’s boyfriend claims they belong together even though she doubted and ultimately cheated on him. Now she sings about how she’s ready to come to him for good, knowing he’ll take her. Then again, with pipes like hers, he’d be a fool not to.

(You guys… I still have the cassette single for this song. I think I was the only person in my middle school who ever heard it. — Mark )

(5) “Escapade,” Janet Jackson

Okay, I admit, this song is a cheat; it’s total pop. I don’t care. It totally works on me! From Jackson’s awesome Rhythm Nation 1814 album (a top-ten for me), it squeezes in such sheer fun five minutes. Who wouldn’t want to break the rules and run away with her?! And check out the carnival-themed video too for extra amusement. You’re laughing at me about this, aren’t you? I don’t care: if I’m listening to this song, I’m already smiling.

Do any of these songs ring a bell? Either way, enjoy the holiday weekend!

Despite the presence of Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Rihanna, the current pop music moment is dominated by men. Between the bumper crop of new artists (Jason Derulo, B.o.B., Bruno Mars) and the avalanche of older artists having comebacks (Enrique Iglesias, Train, Nelly), our airwaves are in a testosterone haze.

After the jump, I’ll examine today’s best and worst boysongs. Or mansongs. Whichever you prefer.

(p.s. — Even if you don’t typically enjoy current pop music, I urge you to check on the last two songs on this list. They’ve really got something special.)

The Bad
(because it’s best to get it out of the way)

(1) “Erase Me” by Kid Cudi featuring Kanye West

Released on Tuesday, this song is already number 4 on the iTunes chart, so look for it to make a big debut on next week’s Hot 100.  And then look for me to stuff cotton in my ears. While I can certainly accept the current vogue for subpar singing—West’s own “Heartless” and “Love Lockdown” make ugly into pretty—I can only go so far. There’s no beat catchy enough and no rap interlude clever enough to drown out the awful sound of Kid Cudi’s voice in my earholes.

(2) “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz

This song has a strong shot at being number one next week, and while I didn’t mind it at first, I’ve grown to really dislike it. It’s just so aggressively generic—from its “hands in the air” lyrics to Cruz’s extra-auto-tuned vocals—that it might as well be called “Song” and credited to “Pop Star.” Given his utter lack of personality, I will be shocked if anyone knows who Cruz is in two years. (Of course, he could always pull a Rihanna and go from faceless crooner to awesome star, but we can never count on that.)

The Good

(1) “Just a Dream” by Nelly

Welcome back, Nelly! Unlike Enrique Iglesias, who returned from half a decade of hitlessness with the slick and soulless “I Like It,” Nelly bounces back from near-obscurity with a track that makes him seem more interesting than ever before. This song’s pretty melody, rich production, and surprisingly vulnerable lyrics about a failed relationship make it stand out in a field of club-bangers. If this mature, thoughtful Nelly, who still raps with the idiosyncratic flair of his younger self, sticks around, then I’ll be very interested to see where he goes from here. What if he comes up with a more lyrically mature version of “Hot In Herre?” Nations would pause their fighting to rejoice!

(2) “Club Can’t Handle Me” by Flo Rida

For reasons I many never comprehend, Flo Rida’s latest single, a collaboration with David Guetta that’s taken from the soundtrack to Step Up 3D, seems destined to be a minor hit in the United States. What the hell is wrong with us? Yes, “Club Can’t Handle Me” has a distinctly Eurotrash dance vibe, but that vibe is slammin’: Guetta’s pulsing beat, Flo’s super-fast rapping, and the unstoppable chorus are pure, uncomplicated fun. Is America too good for Euro-fun? The U.K. has already made this a number one smash. Let’s follow suit, people!

(3) “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars

Of course, I can’t be too mad at America. After all, we did send “Just the Way You Are” into this week’s top ten, and that’s where it deserves to be. After contributing delectable hooks to B.o.B.’s “Nothin’ on You” and Travie McCoy’s “Billionaire” (both of which I wrote about earlier this year), Mars makes his solo debut with an honest-to-god stirring anthem to a woman who doesn’t know how beautiful she is. Mars’ singing is emotional and rangey without being strained, and it’s matched by a track that travels from ethereal keys to cathartic drums. Every time I hear this song, I feel moved: Moved to sway, moved to sing along, moved to smile. That’s exactly what a pop song is for.

The Absolutely Brilliant

“Fuck You” by Cee-Lo

Oh my god. OH MY GOD. From the moment it started making the internet rounds late last week, I have been contemplating rewiring my heart to pump to this song’s rhythm.

Um… too far?

Anyway, the point is… I LOVE it. First, you get the lyrics, which give you the laugh-out-loud shock of dropping F-bombs all of the place, but which also give you plenty of witticisms (“He’s an Xbox, I’m an Atari”).

And then you get the music, which is just exuberant as it nods to 60s R&B the way “Hey Ya!” did.

And then you get the true kicker: Cee-Lo’s vocal. He’s always been a theatrical, entertaining singer (see: Gnarls Barkley), but he really outdoes himself here. From his delicious spin on lines like “I really hate yo’ ass right now” to his soaring delivery of  power notes, he makes you realize he’s not just relying on the gimmick of curse words to make a song. He’s a gifted artist who has chosen to use bad words.

Ultimately, that’s why I love the entire package of “Fuck You:” Even without its naughty lyrics, it succeeds as a song… and that makes the naughty lyrics much more enjoyable. Because Cee-Lo and company clearly don’t need to curse to get our attention, their decision to do so feels playful, delightful, charming.

So thanks, Cee-Lo! And fuck you!

By KAREN GRECO

Never heard of Big Time Rush? Perhaps you saw them in the New York Times Style section. Or maybe you saw them reflected in the fevered eyed of a tweenage girl. Because lately, it seems like every sixth grader in a skirt is thinking about them.

[After the jump: Will this be the show that lets Nickelodeon challenge Disney's tween-pop monopoly?]

For the uninitiated, Big Time Rush star on, um, Big Time Rush, a Nickelodeon original series that follows four best friends from Minnesota who are “discovered” at a nation-wide audition. A struggling producer needs a new boy-band to revive his career, and he thinks these  hockey-playing novices could be his ticket. Soon enough, he transports them to L.A., along with the lead singer’s mom and smart-alecky little sister.

This fish out of water scenario is mixed with a strong dose of sugary pop tunes, since each episode ends with the boys in the studio, harmonizing their hearts out.

While Big Time Rush is big-time missing the sly humor that makes iCarly, another Nick series, so palatable to parents, it still has charm. With heaps of slapstick, goofy sound effects, and over-the-top episode arcs, it’s like a modern-day Monkees, with a high-gloss finish for the post-MTV generation.

The popularity of Big Time Rush is astounding. Their premiere episode aired after iCarly’s record-breaking iSaved Your Life, pulling in 6.8 million viewers. They have amassed enough fans to record a concert in Times Square, which is the focal point of their first television movie special, airing tonight at 8:00 PM.

And about that Times Square concert: Is it a TV episode, or is it a live concert designed to drive up hype and move digital downloads? Or both? What once would have taken place on a studio lot with loads of extras now appears as a public concert with real screaming fans, blurring the lines between television and reality.

That’s part of what makes  Big Time Rush so fascinating: It reflects Viacom’s new push to find more synergy among its holdings, a strategy that has made Disney an unstoppable tween machine over the past several decades.

To that end, Nickelodeon, a Viacom network, is airing the Big Time Rush movie. Sony Music, which inked a deal to co-finance music and television properties with Viacom in 2007, is releasing Big Time Rush‘s debut CD (Sony also released iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove’s debut CD earlier this year).

Then there’s more synergy: In a New York Times article from July 4, Brad Grey (studio chair of Paramount Pictures, also a Viacom property) discusses his company’s new focus on developing Nickelodeon properties (and stars) for film projects distributed under the Paramount banner.

While it remains to be seen if Big Time Rush will be as successful as The Monkees—a show that won the Emmy for best comedy series in 1967 and spawned a pop group with loads of hit singles—Viacom is clearly ready to give the Mouse House a run for the almighty Tween dollar.

—

When she’s not watching Tween comedies on Nickelodeon, Karen Greco does arts PR (and blogs about it) at PR For Smarties. She also gives facials and blogs about that at Beautyology.

To the surprise of no one, I have a Pandora station filled with BritPop and Swedish Pop, and occasionally, it delivers a truly delectable bit of cheese.

Today’s tasty morsel is “Isn’t It Obvious” by Erik Hassle, a red-haired young Swede who is not afraid to emote.

This song is deliriously over the top, from its soft-verse-loud-chorus structure to its I-belt-because-I-mean-it vocal line. Best of all, though, are its lyrics. Worried that his woman won’t understand his love, Erik wails, “If holding hands it too discreet, let’s make out in the middle of the street.”

Yes, Erik. Yes. Let’s make out in the street. A cobblestone street. Hopefully, it will be raining when we do. And as we kiss, maybe six white horses will slowly run behind us, each with a single tear trickling down its left cheek. That’s what love is, Erik. That’s what love is.

Ahem. See… part of me thinks love really should be this tunefully intense, and because “Isn’t It Obvious” is both overblown AND catchy, I can totally support its crying-horse vision of the world.

Happy Monday! Nothing kicks off a week like hot new tunes, which is why I’m offering the following jams for your consideration…

(1) “Choices” by The Hoosiers

The Hoosiers are one of those British groups, like Scouting For Girls and Sugababes, whose good-to-great pop music  never catches fire in the States. As usual, that’s our loss. This electro-bubbly confection would sound right at home next to that new Enrique Iglesias song and that Usher-goes-disco single about falling in love because a DJ demands it.

And unlike those songs, the more I listen to “Choices,” the more I think there’s actual substance to the fun. The bridge and chorus, especially, have some interesting harmonies and vocals  that reward careful attention (like when singer Irwin Sparkes gives the word “choices” about sixty syllables). And overall, the music obviously draws inspiration from The Cure and Duran Duran, so what’s not to love? (Oh, and in the song’s official video, the guys are totally cute and funny. Bonus!)

(2) “Oh No” by Marina and the Diamonds

Marina and the Diamonds is the recording name of Marina Diamandis, a Welsh singer-songwriter with a weird-ass vibe that I sometimes really love and sometimes can’t handle at all. On “Oh No,” however, she makes excellent use of her Kate Bush-meets-drum machines personality, delivering a thundering dance track that makes me bop in my chair.

And she sounds like the slightly- more-alternative Katy Perry, don’t you think?  Maybe it’s the deep, glottal voice, but I’m definitely feeling a connection.

(3) “We Used to Wait” by Arcade Fire

Okay, okay… it’s possible you’ve already heard this song, since Arcade Fire has become one of those indie acts that’s this close to total mainstream success… kind of like Ani DiFranco in 1996. But in case you haven’t heard “We Used to Wait,” a single from the band’s excellent new album The Suburbs, you should give yourself a treat. As with all of Arcade Fire’s best material, it’s a song that sounds both symphonic and spare… delivering all sorts of texture without sacrificing the enjoyable hooks.

(4) “What If” by Jason Derulo

Um… look. I’m not made of stone. A romantic slow jam from a smooth-voiced R&B crooner—especially one with a pretty melody—is always going to make me sway like I’m at the 8th grade homecoming dance. When Derulo debuted last year with “Whatcha Say,” I was understandably skeptical: The song is auto-tuned to the maxxx, meaning it could have been sung by a kitten and sounded pretty much the same. But with each new single (“In My Head,” “Ridin’ Solo,” “What If”) Derulo has proven himself to be a true talent. He may not be threatening Ne-Yo’s title as contemporary R&B’s best male singer-songwriter, but he’s more than holding his own. (Fun fact: He was signed to his record deal by Kara DioGuardi.)

(5) “Shutterbugg” by Big Boi featuring Cutty

Damn, y’all… there’s a reason that so many critics have hurled gold and myrrh at Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty, Big Boi’s first solo album without his Outkast partner André 3000. The album is a hydrogen bomb of funk. It rules.

And “Shutterbugg” rules especially. I mean… I’m in awe of Big Boi’s flow, of the sassy computerized beat, of the reference to Soul II Soul’s “Back to Life,” of the way the brilliant video also references Soul II Soul. Hands down, this is one of the best hip-hop songs from one of the best hip-hop albums I’ve heard in years.

As law professor Edward Lee notes in The Huffington Post, the comedy duo Paul and Storm (in association with a guy named Josh Cagan) have blatantly violated copyright law by altering cartoons from The New Yorker and then publishing the results. Specifically, they’ve removed the cartoons’ original captions and replaced them with tweets from Kanye West.

The results are kind of genius. Even on Twitter, West retains his knack for weirdly poetic wordplay, delivering epigrams like “I love everybody… only thing I don’t like is taxes… me and taxes gone fight.”

But that tweet is even better when it’s paired with this image:

When you think of a little kid saying it, that statement is especially absurd and wonderful. But these cartoon “remixes,” as Paul and Storm are calling them, do more than just recontextualize West’s tweets. Sometimes, they change their meaning altogether, and the distance between what West intended and what the “cartoon remix” implies is really hilarious:

—-

Now, like I mentioned above, this project blatantly violates The New Yorker‘s proclamation that its cartoons cannot be altered in anyway. But after Kanye tweeted that he thought the remixes were funny, The New Yorker‘s twitter person tweeted, “We agree!”

And that’s really cool… because in our ownership-obsessed, litigation-mad society, I can totally imagine a “cease and desist” outcome to this story. Things like that happen all the time, even when, in cases like this, artists are simply making art. I’m all for people getting paid and work not being  ripped off—if you sample a song, then you should pay the original author—but in cases like this, where no one is really making any money, everyone should calm down and let things exist. (Jim Davis showed similar grace when he explicitly supported Garfield Minus Garfield. When that project became a book—hence a financially profitable enterprise—I’m sure Davis was compensated, as he should have been.)

Obviously, the internet is still creating “rules” for this type of work and the response to it. I mean, I could paint a sassy rejoinder to Doonesbury on my bathroom wall, but only a few people would see it. If I did the same thing on my blog, billions might take a peek. This puts artists and companies in an interesting position, because it means their reactions are also open to public scrutiny. It’s possible that some people at The New Yorker want to shut the remixes down, but they’re letting them live on, lest they look like dillweeds.

It’s also possible that the folks at The New Yorker have realized that, yes, imitation is still the sincerest form of flattery. Maybe they understand that this type of thing only makes them (and Kanye West) cool and relevant.

Either way, I’m glad the end result is the ongoing life of this saucy little project.

Until yesterday, I hadn’t heard of Country Strong, a film that’s being released on December 22. It’s written and directed by Shana Feste, produced by Tobey Maguire (!), and stars Gwyneth Paltrow as a washed-up country singer who’s trying to reboot her career.

I didn’t hear about this movie because I saw a trailer online or read an article about it in a magazine. I heard about it because Gwyneth Paltrow has released a single called “Country Strong” to country radio. (You can listen here.)

This tidbit provoked a couple of reactions in me:

(1) The song is pretty good.

Paltrow gives a perfectly good performance, and though it’s not reinventing the musical wheel, the track has a pleasant, Linda Rondstadt-from-the-70s vibe that sounds good in my earphones as I’m thinking about other things. It gains credibility because it features Vince Gill and my beloved Patty Griffin on background vocals and because it was written by Jennifer Hanson, Tony Martin, and Mark Nesler, who collectively have penned a lot of country hits.

(2) This reminds me how much I liked Gwyneth Paltrow’s duet with Huey Lewis.

Remember? She and Huey Huey re-recorded “Cruisin’,” the old Smokey Robinson and the Miracles song, for the soundtrack to the movie Duets. It was a pretty big hit, especially at adult contemporary radio, despite the fact that no one on the planet has ever seen the movie Duets, including the people who made it. (And if you’re telling me that you have seen it, then I am telling you that you’re a liar. And liars make the baby Jesus cry.)

(3) I’m ready to like Gwyneth Paltrow again

I mean, right? Remember the mid-90s, when she was an underground-cool actress who was so good in Flesh and Bone and who made Emma the Jane Austen adaptation you absolutely had to see after you saw Sense and Sensibility? And remember how luminous she was in Shakespeare in Love? Luminous, I tells ya’! I probably would’ve voted for Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth, but I’m totally fine with Paltrow’s Oscar win for this performance.

And sure, sure… the moment she won the Oscar was the moment things started going to hell. Both personally and professionally, Paltrow seemed to fall out of favor almost immediately after she won the prize.

Personally, she started coming across like a spoiled little rich girl. Up there on that Oscar podium, for instance, she cried and cried and cried in a way that said “I’m so fabulous” instead of “I’m so grateful.” And then she got all that unwarranted press about being a “fashion icon.” That’s not really her fault, but it didn’t help her image. And then she married Chris “Coldplay” Martin, named her baby Apple, and started a pretentious eco-focused website. That’s the kind of stuff that convinces the world you are not accessible, and that’s not what the world wants in a movie star.

Meanwhile, with the exceptions of The Talented Mr. Ripley and The Royal Tenenbaums, Paltrow’s résumé between 1999 and 2008 was chock full of egregious flops (View from the Top, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow), mediocre indies (Sylvia, Proof), and offensive comedies about fat people (Shallow Hal.) It was like she won the Oscar and then fell down Kim Basinger’s rabbit hole.

But then came Iron Man and Paltrow’s feisty turn as Pepper Potts. That movie reminded me how much I enjoy a good Gwyneth Paltrow performance, much like Star Trek reminded me how much I miss Winona Ryder.

And now “Country Strong” reminds me that Gwyneth Paltrow is not only an actress, but also a singer I enjoy. And who am I to turn my back on a talented singer-actress? I’d say her profile has lowered enough to make it easy for me to ignore her annoying website and start focusing again on the reasons I liked her back in 1996. So I say, “Bring on Country Strong. My heart and mind are open.”